


25 Days of Christmas

by Stasia



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:34:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 35,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21626884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stasia/pseuds/Stasia
Summary: The Christmas season is supposed to bring us together. Sometimes it really does work magic.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Remus Lupin/Severus Snape
Comments: 120
Kudos: 143





	1. The Status Quo

**Author's Note:**

> So, I started writing this in, uh, 2005. That's when _Half Blood Prince_ came out, so this is very old and _very very jossed._ It's sat, half-finished, on my hard-drive since then, and I think it's finally time to post it here. 
> 
> I've finished writing it, and I hope you like it. I didn't to bring it up to current canon, but let it sit as is, out of canon. It was especially nice to re-visit that period in Potter fandom. 
> 
> I'll be posting one bit every day; this is just the set-up, so there'll be 25 more chapters, some longer than others. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this, and enjoy the nostalgia while you're reading.

Remus couldn’t wait to get home, take off his shoes and sit down. He didn’t mind the standing he did at his job, but it played hell with his feet. He shivered slightly as he walked up the street; it had been nippy during the day but now that the sun had gone down, the temperatures had dropped abruptly. He shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his jacket, hunched his shoulders, and hurried.

Turning into the walkway of his semi-detached house, he smiled up at the wreath he’d put on the door. _Almost Christmas. I never thought I’d make it this far._

Later that evening, he sat in front of the fireplace and stared dreamily into the flames. He was looking forward to the weekend; he enjoyed the opportunity to lie in. _However, that does pre-suppose I'll have the energy to get out of the chair and into bed. It’s early, yet. I’ll go to bed later._ He picked up the book he’d laid down on his knee, tucked the thin blanket tighter over his feet, and went back to reading.

The ringing phone woke him the next morning. With a groan, he fumbled a hand out of the warm cocoon he’d made of the blankets and groped around until he found the shrilling instrument.

“Yes?”

“Remus! Did I wake you?" Harry’s voice was infernally cheerful for this early in the morning. “I’ll be out there for work and wondered if you wanted to go out for breakfast.”

“Oh." Remus took the phone away from his face and indulged in a bone cracking yawn. “Er. That sounds nice. What time is it?”

Harry laughed. “It’s nearly ten, you slug-a-bed. I’ll be there in half an hour. Can I floo in?”

Remus tried to remember if he’d blocked his floo. “I think so. I don’t think I’ve put the block up recently.”

“Great. See you soon." 

Remus replaced the receiver and moaned into his pillow. _So much for my lie in. It’ll be nice to see Harry, though._ He curled up into the warm spot in the bed and tried to prepare himself for the cold air outside. _Lying here isn’t getting me ready. Up and at ‘em, old man._

With a short regretful thought for the delicious warmth of the blankets, he got out of bed and ran for the bathroom.

He and Harry stayed out most of the day together. They ended up making a pasta dinner at Remus’ house, with Remus laughing at Harry’s disastrous attempts to boil the water magically.

During dinner, Harry returned to a topic he’d broached earlier in the day.

“Aren’t you lonely out here, Remus?" He stretched his legs out under the table and tilted his chair back on its rear legs. “You spend all your time with the Muggles at the Uni – you don’t even go to the wizarding side of the campus.”

“I visit the library,” Remus said, mildly.

Harry rolled his eyes. “Yes, but books aren’t people. Don’t you miss people?”

Remus was silent for a moment. “Not exactly. Even with the war over, most witches and wizards are uncomfortable around me. It’s the werewolf thing.”

“But the Ministry’s Wolfbane’s working, right? You said it was at least as good as Snape’s. You’re not in pain, are you?" Harry sat forward, concern in his voice.

“Oh, that’s fine. It’s just that most other werewolves are still,” he paused, “private. I’ve been … My condition is more public. It tends to make people a little edgy." He shrugged, then took a long sip of his tea. “I find that I’m happier where I am; none of the Muggles I work with think I’m anything but the quiet man on the Building Services team.”

Harry propped his head on his hand and gazed at his last remaining father figure. “Don’t you miss having a companion? Or are you still mourning?" He blushed, then blundered on. “I know you and Sirius –“

Remus held up a hand to stop him. “Yes. But he died a long time ago, Harry." _And, in many ways, he died in Azkaban._ “I’ve done my mourning. There’s just no one else. I’m not interested in dating a Muggle, and most other people my age are already paired off.”

Harry snorted. “Well, there’s always Lockhart.”

The resulting laughter echoed all through the house. 

Still chuckling, Harry stood up. “I’ve got to go. I’ve an early morning –“

“How is Ginny?" Remus interrupted.

“Fine. Getting grumpier – I think she’ll be ready for the mediwitch any day now. Those babies want out." He grinned and rubbed his rumpled hair. “One last thing – why are you still wearing that old coat? I saw how cold you were. Why won’t you let me get you a new one?”

Remus smiled softly as they walked into the living room. “You’ve got a massively pregnant wife, a toddler, and a house to maintain. You’ve got enough to be spending money on, rather than wasting it on me. I’m fine.”

Harry grimaced, but gave in. “I’ll see you later?”

“Definitely. Tell me when Ginny has the next additions?”

Harry nodded, then stepped into the green Floo flames.


	2. December First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Start with the basics; let's get warm.

_December First; Wednesday_

Remus came home late from work. Uni would be letting out soon for Christmas break, and it seemed that everyone needed something from the Building Services department. If they weren’t calling on him to fix a broken copier in the advisors’ room, he was tacking up fairy lights in the halls of the science department. 

He smiled to himself as he remembered the shouts of laughter that had greeted his addition of fairy lights on the dinosaur skeleton in the archaeology department. His smile faded as a sharp wind cut right through his jacket. _Maybe Harry was right. I should get a new coat._

As he approached his front door, he began fumbling in his pockets for his keys. He stopped short when he saw the largish brown-paper wrapped parcel on his porch. _What…? It’s not the right time of the month for the Wolfsbane, and the Ministry usually owls that…_ He bent over the box, but saw no return address. There was no postage, either, which definitely marked it as a Wizarding package. With a curious shrug, he lifted the box and brought it indoors.

Once inside, he set the parcel down on the kitchen table and stripped off his damp outerwear. He knew that if he didn’t get out of his wet socks and trousers and into something dry, he’d never get warm.

Several minutes later, he was sitting at the table. He shook the box, but nothing in it shifted. He checked it all over for air holes or anything that might give away the contents. Nothing. Finally, amused at his tactics for extending the joy of the surprise, he picked at a corner of the paper wrapping and pulled it away. 

The box inside was from Gladrags. _Oh, Harry. I told you not to get me anything!_ Smiling at his almost-godson’s gesture, he lifted off the top off the box. He pulled on the top layer of fabric and gasped as it unfolded into a heavy, full length coat. It was a rich chocolate brown, and in a wool so thick Remus felt as if his fingers were sinking into a pillow.

“Harry, how much did you spend?" He stood up and slipped the coat on over his thin pyjamas, buttoning it up and turning up the collar. It fit perfectly. “Oh, Harry, this is too much!" He stuck his hands into the pockets and froze. “What?”

There was something in the pockets. He tugged them out and stared. _Dragon hide gloves, lined with puffskein fur?_ In a daze, he pulled them onto his hands, turning them over again and again. _This is beyond anything …_

He turned back to the box, to see if he could find a note. There wasn’t a note, but he found stacks of thick wool socks, many in bright colours. He pulled them all out, then tried on a pair in purple, with gold snitches on. _I feel like Albus._ He laughed under his breath and reached into the box again.

Several excited minutes later, he’d finally reached the bottom of the box. Harry had sent him the coat and gloves, two hat and muffler sets (one in Gryffindor colours), the stacks of socks, a set of flannel pyjamas, a thick terry bath robe and heavy winter boots. The only thing he’d not found was a note.

He stared at the pile of clothes on the table, completely obscuring the box. This was just too much. He shook his head, but couldn’t keep the smile from his face, or his fingers from stroking the collar of the wool coat he still wore. With a sigh, he took it off and brought the clothes to his bedroom.

_If I know Harry, he won’t let me take any of this back. And, if I’m going to be honest, I do need the clothes._ He put everything away, patting the colourful socks cheerfully as they rolled themselves into his drawer. He changed into the lovely warm pyjamas and, happy in his snitch-socked feet, pattered off to the kitchen to make a more light-hearted dinner than he’d expected to have.

He set the bowl of rich seafood bisque on the table and picked up an old book he’d found in the Uni’s library that morning, about the destruction of Pompeii. It was from the Muggle side of the library, and he found it amusing to look at the maps and illustrations and compare them to what he remembered from the books in the Wizarding library at the Uni. He sipped from the slowly cooling bowl of soup and was soon immersed in the author’s depiction of the last days of the great city of Pompeii.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so we begin!


	3. December Second

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus' job is hard, but there are treats waiting at home.

_December Second Thursday_

Remus got to work earlier than usual that morning, as he wanted to check out some books on Pompeii from the library on the Wizarding side of the Uni. He walked quickly through the cold morning air, enjoying the fact that he was warm in his new coat, boots, muffler and hat. He found himself looking around a little more, seeing the way the morning light fell on the houses, the way the air was crisper in his lungs with the warmth wrapped around himself. 

He stopped off at the Building Services office to see if there were any pressing jobs on the schedule board. He wanted to really do some research into Pompeii, and wanted to see what actual work was scheduled to be done before he started reading. Nothing had been called in yet, so he dropped the bag he carried his lunch and other things in his locker and left the office.

At the wizarding library, he moved quietly past two people studying at carrels. The witch glanced at him idly, but the other person, a wizard with dark hair drawn back, watched him closely as he went into the stacks.

He made his way rapidly to the Antiquities section, then slowed to browse through it. His hands slid gently along the spines of the books as he wandered down the aisles, looking for the section he wanted.

“Ah,” he said quietly. “Here we are." He pulled out book after book, putting several back right away, and holding others tucked under his arm. When he had three or four, he pulled out a large book of maps and grinned. 

“This is it,” he said as he stacked the books on the larger one and carried them all to the front desk.

“Why, Remus,” the librarian said, “we haven’t seen you in a while. Feeling better, are you?" Her hands moved smoothly over the books, tapping them with her wand to check them out to him.

He blinked at her. “I’m feeling a little better, yes. A friend gave me a nice gift and I love the holiday season anyway." _Did it seem as if I wasn’t feeling well?_

He gathered up his bounty of books and, with a friendly wave, went back to work. 

At the Building Services office, he tucked his books into his bag, shucked his outerwear and wandered into the front office. 

“Oh, Remus, there you are.” the young woman who was the Building Services receptionist was a Muggle student, working her way through school. She was bright and cheerful, and when Remus was at his most bitter, she reminded him of Tonks in the worst way, reminding him that anyone he loved too much died.

“Hello, Gail,” he said. “Do you have any plans for the weekend?" He sat down in one of the battered chairs in the room and propped his feet up on the table.

She smiled. “No, I’ll be studying. I’ve got to get ahead for next term. I’ll not be here for the last half of the month and I know I won’t be able to get any studying done once I’m home. My mum’ll have a full load of entertainments and there’s Frank’s schedule to consider." She blushed as she mentioned the young man she’d been seeing more and more of and Remus laughed.

“You’re bringing him home to mum? Is he ready for that?" His voice was teasing and she pretended to glare at him.

Just then, the phone rang with a complaint about the heating system having gone out over in Chemistry, so Remus climbed back into his new coat and trotted off to work.

He was on his feet the rest of the day, even having to eat his lunch standing up at a fuse box in the Physics department. By the time he got home, he was just happy to have made it through the day and to the weekend. He walked slowly past the other houses on his street, head down against the cold, grumpily looking forward to putting on another set of his new socks and his new pyjamas. When he climbed his stairs, however, he nearly tripped over another large box stuck in front of his door. 

_What? Harry, you really shouldn’t do this._ Groaning slightly, he bent and picked up the box, bringing it inside and putting it down on his living room table.

Before opening it, he changed into dry warm clothes, and put a kettle on for tea. Once he had a pot ready, he went back to the box. Sipping from his slightly too hot cup, he checked the box over for identifying marks. He found nothing but the merchant’s name: _Aliment’s Viands and Victuals, Diagon Alley_. He set his tea aside and pulled the box open.

Inside was a large hamper, filled to the brim with savoury foods and snacks. Feeling bemused, he pulled out sausages and bread, packets of instant soups (“Just two taps with your wand and you’ve the richest soup around”), cheeses from hard to soft, digestive biscuits to go with the various cheeses and even two bottles of good wine. He set it all down and leaned back in his seat. 

“Harry,” he said aloud, “you really can’t keep doing this. I can take care of myself." He paused for a moment. “Not that I don’t appreciate it. Really.”

With a tired sigh, he picked up one of the soup packets and turned it over to read the instructions. _I’ll just make this and go to bed. I’ll floo Harry in the morning._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise, Severus is coming. Uh. So to speak. :giggle:
> 
> Also, the chapters will start to get longer soon as well.


	4. December Third

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mystery deepens. Also, we learn more about Remus' co-workers.

_December Third Friday_

The next morning, he felt much better. He woke early and trotted into the kitchen, smiling at the food he’d left scattered out on the table. With a last stretch, he put on water for tea and quickly moved the gifts to where they needed to go. He sliced part of one of the cheeses and kept out some biscuits for breakfast, and while the tea was steeping, cooked up the last of his bacon.

“I’ll have to go to the shop and get more after work,” he said to himself. “Better make a list…”

With a cheerier heart, he sat down to breakfast with the most interesting of the books on Pompeii he’d checked out from the library.

About half an hour later, his eyes glued to the book, he tried to take another sip of his tea, and was startled to find that his cup was empty. He set the book down and looked at his plate. He’d eaten everything and drunk all of his tea without noticing. Eyebrows raised, he poked the book’s spine. “Are you enchanted?” he asked it, amused.

Resolutely, he closed the book, stood up and began his day. Setting the dishes in the sink, with an idle scrubbing charm, he went to change into clothes for the rest of his day. He tossed trousers, a long sleeved jersey and a warm jumper onto the bed, then went to take a shower.

Dressing for work was frustrating. He really wanted to spend the whole day in his new pyjamas and slippers, but it was Friday and he still had to work. The Ministry had relaxed the rules for werewolves, and they didn’t charge for the Wolfsbane, but that didn’t fill his larder or warm his feet. He dressed quickly, towelling his hair damp, then using a quick drying hex to dry it the rest of the way. _Don’t want to get a cold from a wet head, do I?_

The work day was even busier than the last one, and Remus staggered into the office at the end of the day. Gail had left an hour earlier, waving cheerfully at Remus as he left the back room on yet another trip to the Chemistry electric problem. 

“Gail,” he called after her, “on Monday please remember to call in the electric company? I think that Chemistry is doing something they’re not supposed to do with the fuses and they’ve not listened to me or to Angus when we’ve told them to stop over-loading the circuit. Maybe they’ll listen to the power company itself.”

“Sure thing,” she chirped, and turned back to make a note on her desk calendar.

Angus and Patrick, the other two people on Friday’s Building Services crew, came into the office just as Remus collapsed into a chair at the scarred work table. With a groan, Angus lowered himself into another chair, then he tilted his chair back carefully and put his feet on the table.

“Here,” he said, “have a look at these. You’re in Building Services, why can’t you fix a simple foot?”

Patrick, who was younger than the other two men, laughed. He was still standing, and he walked to the electric kettle they’d set up in the room. He waved it at his co-workers enquiringly, and, at their exhausted nods, filled it and set it to heat. Then, grinning, he leaned back against the counter.

“Sure, and you’d be wanting one of _us_ to be working on your feet?" Patrick’s brogue never failed to surprise Remus, no matter how often he heard it. Patrick’s skin was the colour of rich dark chocolate, and his brown hair had flashes of a red almost as bright as the Weasley’s. The first time Remus had heard him speak, his surprise must have shown on his face, for the other man had laughed and asked “What, haven’t you ever seen a black Irish before, man?" 

After a little stammering on Remus’ part, Patrick had taken pity on him and explained that he was the grandson of an American soldier from World War Two. His grandfather had been stationed in England, and Patrick’s grandmother had met him in London. When the war was over, the American had moved with her to her home in Ireland, and they’d started a large family. Patrick was working in the Building Services Department as part of a work study program to help him pay for his Uni costs.

Angus seemed to think it over, then grinned back at Patrick. “No, I don’t think I’d be wanting you to muck about with my feet. I saw that mess you left over in Philosophy. You’ll just get my feet all tangled up and leave them that way.”

Remus, to his surprise, burst out laughing at the mental image of Angus’ feet tangled and tied like string. Angus turned to him.

“And the quiet man speaks." He was still grinning, which softened his words. “I saw you stuck over at Chemistry again. Did they blow the fuse for good this time?”

Remus nodded. “Yes, and I’ve asked Gail to call the power company in on Monday. Maybe they’ll listen to the warnings if it comes from someone else." He shrugged. “It’s over for the weekend, at any rate. I’ve got to pick up some food at the shop—who’s turn is it to stock the fridge?”

The three men began arguing good-naturedly over who was to bring what for the next week’s common food.

~*~

Remus made it home, laden with bags and feeling cheerier than he had in the past few months. Knowing that he had warm clothes and good food waiting for him made his spirits lift. _Clearly, if that’s all it takes, I’ve got to get out more. Maybe Harry was right._ He grimaced at the thought, and shook his head. _No, I’m okay the way I am. Really._ Realising that he was trying to convince himself and failing, he grimaced again and gave up.

He shifted the bags around in his arms, trying to get his keys out of his pocket, then abandoned the effort and dropped the heavier bag onto the porch. As he separated out his house key, he saw that there was another box leaning on his door. 

“Dammit, Harry,” he yelped, “I love you like a son, but really, you are not my mother." Irritably, he opened the door, shoved the box in with his foot, then carried the two bags into the house. Shutting the door against the winter night’s cold, he walked to the kitchen and started putting away his groceries. His earlier good mood had vanished, and he slammed cabinet doors and tossed cans onto shelves. Finally, he turned, saw that there was nothing else to put away and stormed off into his bedroom to change.

_Why does he think he needs to do this? He’s usually so unwilling to interfere – I thought I had explained to him that I like my life. I like being …_

He sat down abruptly on the edge of his bed, his delightful new pyjama top clenched in his hands.

_Lonely? I like being lonely?_ Suddenly more thoughtful, and much less angry, he finished changing and went back to the front door, where the package had been kicked. _I hope it isn’t something breakable._

It wasn’t. The paper showed a return address of _Elucidus Books and Trinkets_ , and Remus shook his head. Harry had certainly been paying more attention that he had realised on that last visit. Inside the box were two books on antiquities, one of which had been out of print for over seventy years. There was also a book of maps, with reproductions of several truly ancient maps from the Wizarding sections of museums around the world. Again, the box held no note.

Remus shook his head, smiling. _Okay, Harry. Enough’s enough._ He picked up his wand, muttered _Incendio_ , then tossed a pinch of Floo powder into the flames. Once they were properly green, he called out “Godric’s Hollow” and stuck his head through.

“Harry!” he called, seeing that the living room on the other side was empty. “Harry, where are you, you blasted boy!" He could hear the sound of two-year-old pounding feet approaching, followed by the slower steps of someone adult. After a moment, Albert Potter hove into view, shouting in welcome.

“Unka Remus! Are you coming for dinner? We’re eating dinner. You can have my ‘tatoes." The little boy cheerfully ran up to the fireplace and squatted down. “’Tatoes would be good for you." 

Remus grinned at him. “Potatoes sound lovely, but I’d hate to take yours." It was well-known that Albert hated potatoes and would do just about anything to get out of eating them. “I don’t think I’ll come to dinner today, Albert, but I can talk to your dad about coming over soon." 

The two year old boy’s face lit up. “Can we play horsie?”

Over his shoulder, Ginny’s voice was dry. “You can go eat your dinner, young man. Horsie may wait." She smiled as he jumped, over balanced and fell on his bottom, then scrambled up and dashed off back to the kitchen. Then, she turned to Remus. “Harry’s not here, Remus. Is it urgent? He won’t be back until just before Christmas.”

Remus smiled up at her. “No, not urgent. He’s just sending me gifts and I wanted to tell him thank you and that they’re really not necessary.”

A startled expression passed over her face, and she half turned back towards the kitchen. “Gifts? Harry? I—“ she coughed, then continued, “I don’t think it’s him. He left to go on a big job just before the month began—about a day after he visited you, in fact. He didn’t say anything to me about gifts. I know that he’s got you a—“ she broke off again, and glared at him. “You nearly made me tell you what he’s got you for Christmas. You’re very sneaky. Are you sure you don’t want to work with him?”

Remus chuckled. “What, he wants me to work on security jobs and personal body guarding? I don’t think so. I’ll do consulting, at the most." He shrugged. “I wasn’t deliberately angling after the Christmas gift information, although I’d be happy to bribe you, if you like.”

She laughed at him, and he winced internally. At times she looked so much like Lily that he felt as though he was seeing her through a filter - as if he could almost see Lily on top of her, like a ghost impression in a photograph. He had seen Lily laugh so often with her hands resting on the high shelf of her pregnant belly that to see that image again was both wrenching and beautiful. 

“Listen,” she said, and the image of Lily dissolved, “I’m pretty sure it’s not Harry. He’d have told me and he didn’t mention anything about it. I, uh, I don’t know who it could be." She looked over her shoulder, as if she expected to see someone, then turned back to him. “Severus is here, though, and you could ask him.”

He grimaced. “No, there’s no need to bother him." He thought for a moment, realizing that he finally had a chance to ask a question that had been puzzling him for a while. “How’s that working out, the two of them working together? I’d have thought that they would kill each other.”

Ginny looked pensive, then shot another look over her shoulder and down the hall. “I think they nearly did, at first. The first year was rocky; neither of them would give an inch, but Harry also – you know why they work together, right?”

Remus shook his head and Ginny nodded, as if she’d suspected this. 

“I’ve got to sit down, Remus. How about I write it all out and owl it over to you. I think this is something you should know about, and it’s something Harry will never tell you.”

Remus’ brows went up. “Sneaking around behind your husband’s back? With another man?" He placed his hand on his chest and waggled his brows at her. “What is the world coming to?”

She glared at him and said, “I’ll send along an owl in the next couple of days. Don’t get into trouble.”

“Me? I live a quiet life here, no trouble at all." Remus grinned at her and pulled his head back out of the fireplace.

_Well, mysteries abound, here in the Lupin Household._


	5. December Fourth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loneliness is corrosive, especially for the naturally gregarious.

_December Fourth Saturday_

Remus woke up with the warm feeling of having slept until one is no longer sleepy. He stretched luxuriantly in bed and ran his hands through his hair. This weekend he was going shopping for Christmas gifts, and he was looking forward to it. He loved the fact that he could go shopping, that he had the money and the freedom to go out either in the Wizarding world or the Muggle one.

With one last stretch, he slipped from under the covers and shivered his way to the bathroom to shower. He relaxed under the hot stinging spray, letting the heat sink into his scalp and skin, soothing away the past week of crazy work and overfilled days. 

~*~

On the way out the door to go shopping, later that morning, he stumbled over a small package on the edge of the top step. Excitedly, he snatched it up, hoping to get more information about who was sending the surprises, but the wrapper was wet with morning dew, and the return address was smeared. He ripped the box open and laughed as he saw what was inside. There was a large cellophane bag, filled with Everlasting Lollipops in various flavours. He fished out two, one strawberry and one anise, but fumbled the bag and dropped it in the snow. He rummaged around and picked up as many of the treats as he could, then re-opened his door to put the rest on the table by the door. 

“Well,” he said aloud to the box, patting it, “who ever you are, you’ve excellent taste in sweets.”

As he left the house for the second time, he popped the strawberry lollipop in his mouth. Sucking happily, he strode off down the street towards the Muggle shopping district. He knew that Ron would be pleased by something relentlessly Muggle.

As he spent the day shopping, enjoying the feeling of being in a crowd and of the happiness of the season, he found himself thinking of things to say, or of jokes to tell, and he turned several times to say something, before he remembered that he was shopping alone. By the evening, his good mood had evaporated, leaving him feeling distressed and twitchy. 

He had spent so much of his adult life alone that he had thought he was used to it, but he was, at heart, a sociable man and wanted company. Desiring company, someone to spend time with, was one of the reasons he’d had such a hard time standing up to his friends in school. 

At six in the evening, long after the sun had set, he stood outside a small café, looking in the window as he tried to decide whether he should eat out alone, or if it would make him feel even more isolated. With a final sigh, he turned away from the bright windows and trudged to the nearest quiet alley to Apparate home.

He stumbled into his kitchen, having dropped his gift purchases off in the living room, and began to shift things about to find something quick and warm to eat. Suddenly thinking of the food his mysterious benefactor had sent him, he smiled and rummaged until he found one of the packets of digestive biscuits and then pulled out some of the cheeses.

“Might as well make a meal of it,” he muttered, and settled down to munch and read some of one of the books he’d been sent.

After dinner, he moved to the living room, and made himself a roaring fire, then curled up on the floor under his thickest blanket. He lay quietly, staring into the flames, trying to find a calm place inside himself. It seemed that as soon as he thought he was doing well, something would happen to remind him of how alone he was.

Turning onto his back, he buried his fingers in his hair and said, “All right. I don’t want to be alone any more." 

Just as he was thinking about getting up and fetching his book from the kitchen, there was a clatter at his front door. He startled, then realised that this was probably his chance to catch whoever was leaving the mysterious gifts. Slowly, he stood up; letting the blanket fall to the floor, he slipped as quietly as he could to the front door, leaning close to see if he could hear anything.

Everything in the world was silent—he couldn’t even hear the fire crackling in the living room. Taking a deep breath, he threw the door open.

Severus Snape stood outside, his side to the door. He was glaring at the low snow-covered wall where the box of Everlasting Lollipops had been. As if he hadn’t noticed the door opening, he reached out and plucked up one of the sweets from where it had fallen in the snow.

“Ah, Severus?" Remus stood in the doorway, feeling completely confused. “You—what are you here for?”

Snape turned to him, the lollipop clutched in his hand and a sardonic look in his eyes. “Is this how you greet everyone who visits you? It is no wonder, then, that you’ve so few visitors.”

Remus flushed. “I’m sorry. Would you like to come in?" He stepped back from the door, fully expecting Snape to glare, snap something at him, and then leave. To his surprise, Snape nodded once, as if dispensing Royal Favour, and moved past him into his hall.

Remus shut the door, amused at his own startlement. Severus Snape was visiting him. Suddenly, he realised what the reason behind Snape’s visit must be. Harry must have told him to check up on him. Remus’ mood darkened again at the reminder that Harry didn’t think him capable of taking care of himself. 

Still feeling frustrated, he turned to Snape. “What—“ he broke off, then sighed. He couldn’t really be angry at Snape; he was just doing a favour for his business partner, after all. He knew that there was no other reason for Snape to visit him. However, it was freezing outside and who knew how long Snape had been standing outside his door, unwilling to knock. He knew, based on Snape’s behaviour toward him previously, that Snape didn’t like him. It must have taken a lot of persuasion on Harry’s part to get Snape to be willing to be here at all. 

No matter what, he wouldn’t allow Harry’s meddling to force him to lose his manners. “Make yourself comfortable. Would you like some tea?" He knew, as he turned to walk to the kitchen, that he was being abrupt, but having his only recent visitors be people checking in on him as if he were an invalid or someone’s maiden auntie irked him. Not waiting to see if Snape answered, he strode off towards the kitchen, knowing that even if Snape didn’t want tea, now he himself did. 

Snape followed him through the living room into the kitchen, and stood looking curiously around. Remus sighed, waiting for the inevitable insults. 

“This is pleasant, if a bit cold. Have you not put up any warming charms?" Snape’s voice was oddly un-caustic, and Remus turned to look at him. He’d left his cloak on the hooks near the door, and was wearing Muggle clothes. Remus’ eyes slid up Severus’ body; he only realised he’d been staring when his gaze caught on Severus’ dark one. “If you’re entirely finished,” Severus said, his voice crisp, “I think your water is about to boil over.”

Remus jumped, spinning around and reaching thoughtlessly for the handle of his kettle. It was one of the oldest things in the house. He’d bought it in the years before the war, and had enchanted it to come to the boil almost as soon as he filled it with water. There had been times he’d had little to eat or drink but thin broth heated in the kettle. Over the years of use, the handle had begun to loosen, and in his current haste, he pulled just a little too hard, making the handle come off in his hand.

He stared at it stupidly for a moment, then sighed, trying to keep his temper. Fishing out his wand, he held the handle in place, muttered “ _Reparo_ ” and turned to the teapot.

To his surprise, Snape was there ahead of him. He’d set the sweet down on the counter and was casting a heating charm in the teapot. At Remus’ startled look, he raised an eyebrow. “You appeared to be losing the fight with your kitchenware. Where’s your tea?”

Remus set the kettle down, carefully. “Severus, I—" He sighed. He wanted to have his tea in peace, not bandy words with someone who was only there as a favour to someone else. “Severus, I am grateful that you’ve come all this way to check on me, and you can tell Harry that I’m doing just fine and that he’s to stop worrying about me and whether or not I’ve a new lover—“

“Are you going to tell me where you keep your tea or are you going to continue to blather on in that idiotic way?" Snape’s face appeared to be caught between anger and a strange icy calm. Remus stared at him, mouth open in shock for a moment, then he snapped his mouth shut, pulled the shreds of his self-control over his emotions and plucked the tin of tea (clearly labelled Tea) off the counter next to the sweet Snape had dropped there.

“All I have is oolong." He turned and pulled the milk and sugar down and plunked the cracked and _reparo_ ’d containers onto the counter. Closing his eyes and breathing in deeply, he tried to control his emotions. He had no idea why he was so irritable suddenly. It certainly wasn’t going to make a good impression on Snape, and he didn’t want the other man going back to Harry and making him think he should meddle more in Remus’ life. Lifting his chin and ruthlessly pushing any turbulent thoughts to the back of his head, Remus turned and held the two condiments out to Snape.

“Milk and sugar?” he asked, his voice calm again.

“Have you a tray? It’s much warmer near the fire." Snape turned around in the kitchen, then moved unerringly to where Remus stored the one thing he’d kept from his parents’ house. With a raised eyebrow, Snape pulled down the gleaming silver tray. “How do you polish this? Charms never get everything clean." He looked at Remus over his shoulder.

Remus gave up on anything making sense this evening. He might as well go along with the bizarre things the world was clearly going to throw at him. “By hand,” he replied. At Severus’ inquisitive look, he continued, “I wear gloves. It’s not that difficult. I’m not allergic to latex, only silver." Something flared in Snape’s eyes at that, but Remus was too distracted by his whole visit to even begin to figure out what his silver allergy meant to Snape. 

They sat in the living room with tea cups in hand and silence filling the room. Remus opened his mouth several times, trying to think of things to say, but each time he realised that he had no idea. Finally, he blurted, “So, why are you out so late at night?”

Snape lifted his eyes from his tea cup and looked at Remus, who felt a chill run down his spine. “I was in the neighbourhood,” he said, “and I remembered that you lived near here. I thought we might,” he glanced away from Remus, towards his own feet, “catch up.”

After a long moment, Remus dragged his mouth closed. “Ah,” he tried, “well … that’s, er, kind. So." He gathered his scattered thoughts, trying to hide how completely confused he was. “How have you been, then?”

“Fine.”

Remus blinked. _Fine? That’s all? What can the man mean by catching up if this is all he’ll say?_ “Fine. How informative. I have been doing very well. I spent the day shopping for the holiday." Remus closed his lips against the inane chatter he could feel building behind them. 

Severus was looking at the books on the shelf behind Remus. “Have you read the _Treatise on Time_? I found the last few chapters to be the best researched.”

With a feeling of mixed relief and confusion, Remus willingly followed Severus’ conversational sally into recent books on magical theory.


	6. December Fifth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone needs some sparkly stuff, right?

_December Fifth Sunday_

Remus groaned as he felt for the first of his house steps with his foot. He’d been shopping all day, and had finally found everything he was looking for. Unfortunately, this meant that he was quite loaded down, and the last block’s walk had been precarious. After a few tricky moments, he made it to the top of the stairs, where he dumped one arm’s worth of packages onto the low wall beside the door. 

He slid his key into the lock, feeling the complex protection spells Harry and his staff had woven into his locks open for him. With a grin at the memory of how proud Harry had been at making the key the thing that unlocked the spell protection as well as the house. “The key is the key,” he’d said brightly, making Remus laugh. Now, Remus was just glad that he could unlock the house and the spells at the same time.

Once he’d shuffled everything inside, leaving the packages on the living room table in a jumble with the ones from the day before, he went into his bedroom to change into warm and dry clothes. With a bone-cracking yawn, he picked up the phone and called the local pizza delivery shop. He’d thought about picking up something to eat while he was out, but by the time he’d remembered, he was covered in boxes and had decided to just call for something. After a few moments while he tried to get the teenaged pizza shop employee to take his order for a small with only olives and sausage, he hung up the phone.

“Why does it always take half an hour for the pizza to get here?” he complained to the empty room. “It’s not as if they’ve got to bring it far." He walked down the hall to the living room, then cursed under his breath and walked back to his bedroom to get the money for the delivery out of his wallet. Carefully, he pulled out the Muggle bills, making sure he had enough. He didn’t want to transfigure something else into Muggle money, especially now he no longer had to do that just to get by.

With the money safely put aside on the mantel, he began sorting through his bags and packages. The ones for Ron and Hermione he set to one side, and the ones for Harry’s family he put on the floor next to the coffee table. He’d picked up something for Gail and also small boxes of sweets for the other people he worked with in the Building Services department. 

There was a box left on the table after he’d sorted everything out. 

“Odd,” he muttered. “I must have forgot what I bought." Curiously, he pulled the box closer to see if there was a shop name on it that would remind him of what he’d purchased so he could put it on the right stack. It was from Scrivenshaft’s, in Hogsmeade.

“I didn’t go to Hogsmeade to-OH!" He stared at the box for a moment. “It’s from the mystery person." He ripped off the shipping paper. Inside was a very expensive quill set, with one eagle feather quill and one brilliantly coloured blue feather quill. Remus’ hands began to shake slightly as he prised the interior box open. The bright quill looked like it came from one of the amazing tropical birds Sirius had used as post-owls while he was on the run and staying away from Britain.

“Oh, Sirius,” he sighed, and pulled the quill out. It was easily the longest feather he’d ever seen made into a quill, and after one more stunned moment, he began to chuckle. There was ink in the box as well as the quills, and he pulled out a bottle that changed colour every few words. Laughing, he wrote, “I feel like Gilderoy Lockhart.” on the inside of the paper the box had been in. _Who is sending me these things?_

Just then his doorbell rang, and he jumped up to pay for his dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, I know, but we're moving forward.


	7. December Sixth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This gift is a little less discreet, but Remus isn't thinking along the right lines.

_December Sixth Monday_

The next day was a Monday, in all its horrifying glory. Remus overslept, so he didn’t get to spend any time at home before he had to run to work. Chemistry refused to listen to the power company and insisted that it should be allowed to run too many sets of fairy lights from each power strip. In his rush to leave the house, Remus forgot to bring a lunch, and was reduced to eating some of Patrick’s left over curry while they worked on the copiers in Literature, and when he wasn’t careful enough, he spilled some on his trousers. Gail was irritable with everyone, as she’d been up too late on the weekend studying for her last exam.

By the time Remus got home, he was cranky, tired and frustrated. All he wanted was to take a hot bath, eat something for dinner and fall into bed. He didn’t remember the mysterious packages until he stumbled over a largish box set in front of his door. With a groan, he shoved it inside with his foot. For a moment, he dithered, trying to decide between opening the box first or just leaving it there so he could collapse in the bath. His curiosity got the better of him and he bent down to check for anything that might give a hint about who was sending the gifts.

There was no return address this time, and he felt his brows draw together. _Were the others bait?_ Feeling a bit silly, he tried several spells to reveal Dark Arts or malicious intent. There didn’t appear to be any unpleasant spells on the box, so he tapped it with his wand to open it.

One side had glass jars and vials wrapped carefully in tissue paper; the other held packets of bath salts and dried herbs. With raised eyebrows, he unwrapped a jar to read the label.

 _Mullein Bath Bubbles_ , it read, in a plain upright script. On the back of the jar there was another label, which read, _Good for people with colds or breathing problems._

Remus laughed, and dragged the box to the living room table. He pulled out bottle after bottle, setting them on the table until he had a rainbow of brightly coloured liquids reflecting light all over the room. The last one he removed said, _Muscle Relaxant_ on the front and _Good for tired bodies_ on the back. He tucked that one under his arm and marched into the bathroom.

It wasn’t until the third time he’d re-heated the water that he began to wonder who might be able to make tonics of this quality. The bottles hadn’t had any of the larger manufacturer’s marks on them, making Remus sure that they’d been homemade. He could only think of three or four names off the top of his head, but finally gave up trying to figure it out when Severus Snape was on the list. 

He laughed, the sound echoing cheerfully in the small, tiled room. “Imagine Severus making bath salts for me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Remus, imagine that!


	8. December Seventh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mystery gift-giver is trying to be clear about how they feel.

_December Seventh Tuesday_

At the last Departmental meeting, Remus had been home recovering from the full moon. When he’d returned to work, he found that he’d been volunteered for several new tasks and one organising committee without any notice. Since he knew that Patrick had been the one to put his name in for the holiday food shopping, he felt justified in roping the younger man into helping out.

That morning, two men were laughing at an advertising circular sent to Patrick by his mum when she found out that he was to do the shopping. She was convinced that he’d no idea how to take care of anything, despite the fact that he’d been living in Uni housing for over a year. She’d carefully circled each item for him, and enclosed a list naming everything she thought he’d need, with prices and amounts put beside each item.

It reminded Remus of Molly, and he shook his head. _Mums are the same everywhere._

They made arrangements to meet on the upcoming Thursday, the 9th, to do the non-perishable shopping. That would give them time to find out from the other departments what they would be providing. Traditionally, Building Services supplied the beverages, but Remus thought they might branch out this year and bring something more exciting than just bottles of pop. He and Patrick spent their lunch trying to think of something that was simple to make and also within the department’s budget. 

The day was quieter at work and Remus decided to go out for dinner. He’d been eating at home by himself for a longer time than usual and he missed being near other people, even if he wasn’t actually eating with anyone. He stopped off at home quickly to pick up a book to read over dinner, and had made it all the way into the living room before he realised that he hadn’t found a box outside his door.

Feeling obscurely disappointed, he picked up one of the books he’d got in the library, and turned to go back out. 

“Well, the gifts couldn’t keep coming,” he muttered to himself, trying to make himself feel better. “Whoever was sending them probably thinks he’s done enough. He, or she, has given me a lot already." He tried to ignore how bitter he sounded, even to himself. _Am I so lonely that attention from a complete stranger is the most exciting part of my day?_

Dinner out was better than he expected. He tried to go out to dinner at least once a week, but the past few weeks had been too hectic for him to keep up his schedule. When he’d first moved to Cambridge, he’d felt very isolated. One day, he’d pulled out the ‘phone book, chosen a restaurant at random, and tried it. He’d been trying new places, and revisiting favourite ones for several years now, and he had come to enjoy the sense of adventure he got from not knowing what kind of food he’d be eating from week to week.

This week he was trying someplace new, and he settled into his table against the back wall happily. He’d never had Ethiopian food before and it looked interesting. After the waitress took his order, he leaned back in his chair and watched the other diners. The restaurant was nearly full, with several groups taking up the large tables in the centre. Remus watched the people, content for the time being to just see other people interact.

Slowly, his brows drew together. It seemed that the closest group was a wizarding group; he could have sworn he heard them talking about stasis charms and mandrake root. The people in the group were all about his age or slightly younger, and he wondered if they were young people from the Uni. 

His combination plate was set in front of him and he smiled up at the young woman serving him. She smiled back, checked the table for anything missing, and said, “I’ll be back to see if you like it.”

He faced the meal curiously. The food itself was spicy and appetizing to his sense of smell, and the crisp salad mounded in the centre of the platter looked tangy and fresh. However, he was a little taken aback at the utensils. It appeared that he hadn’t paid enough attention to the other tables. There weren’t any utensils that he could see; it appeared that he was supposed to tear off bits of the soft crepe-like bread, which he remembered vaguely from the menu was called _injera_ , and scoop the food up in that. The waitress had given him a huge plateful of it. 

Laughing slightly at his own confusion, he tore off a piece of the bread and ate it plain. It was cool, slightly chewy, with a bit of a tang. Shrugging his shoulders, he pulled off another piece and wrapped it around a small bit of lamb. _I guess I won’t be reading my book with this meal._

Instead of reading, he ended up watching the wizarding party as they ate. None of them seemed surprised at all at the plates of bread, and he found himself picking up tips on how to manage the unfamiliar eating style as he watched them. They were all talking animatedly, often gesturing wildly and joking. Once he’d eaten off the first edge of hunger, he began paying more attention to the conversations he could hear. 

The wizarding group was laughing at one of the people he couldn’t see well, as he was obscured by some of the other diners. Apparently, this man hadn’t been able to catch one of the pieces of salad he’d tried to pick up and it kept trying to escape from him. Finally, the man just reached out and snagged the lettuce with his fingers and no bread and the others laughed again. Remus could just hear his voice as he asked in a sarcastic tone if they were going to let him eat all the food while they wasted their time laughing over silly things.

At the sound of his voice, Remus’ breath stilled. _Is that Severus?_ He tried to shift a little, to see if he could get a better glimpse of the person, but all he could see was dark hair and dark clothes. _What would Severus be doing out with a group like that? Is he friends with them?_

At that thought, Remus sucked in a deep breath and deliberately turned back to his own meal. _I hope Severus has friends. I know I would like some._

As soon as he fully admitted, even only to himself, that he was lonely and wanted to change that, he felt something in him relax, something that had been clenched tightly since the end of the war. He could feel the relaxation spreading through his body, and he sat straighter in his chair, feeling lighter and cleaner. _It’s time to start making changes in my life. It’s time to stop living in a dark cave, all by myself._

After finishing his meal, he decided to walk home. It wasn’t far, and he thought it would be nice to be out in the crisp, fresh air. He had a lot of thinking to do, and a clear head would be a good place to start.

Finding a small box on his front porch seemed like a benediction. Whoever was giving him the gifts was still thinking of him. For one moment, he held the package tightly, with his eyes pressed closed. _How could I think I don’t have any friends. Someone likes me well enough to give me all these gifts._

Once inside the house, he eagerly ripped open the paper. His hand shook slightly as he reached into the box and pulled out a small furry stuffed wolf. 

“What.” At the sound of his voice, the wolf tipped its head back and howled, in an endearingly childlike way. _Well, I guess whoever this is knows what I am._

The wolf kept him very warm that night as it guarded him from its position tucked under his arm in bed.


	9. December Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Mystery Gifter is not being particularly secretive.

_December Eighth Wednesday_

Remus collapsed against the wall of the Chemistry Department. He’d finally convinced them to stop running so many power cords from each electrical outlet, but it had taken a full two hours and several angry shouting matches with the Department Assistant Head. Leaning his head back against the stone of the outer wall, he rubbed his eyes, then scrubbed at his face.

“Today can’t end soon enough,” he muttered under his breath as he struggled to stand up again and find his next assignment.

He had intended to spend some of today working on how to be less of a recluse, to make more friends, but the day had been nothing but one work disaster after another. The only good thing that had happened yet was that Gary, the fourth person on their shift in Building Services had come back from his vacation. That meant that the four of them were only run ragged, instead of drowning in a sea of broken water lines.

On the way home, Remus didn't remember to hop off the bus in front of the grocery store. He’d been putting off shopping to refill his refrigerator for several days and he knew that he’d run out of several important things. He managed to get to the small corner shop before it closed, so he at least had the bare minimum he'd need for the next day.

By the time he made it home, irritable and cranky with fatigue, he was almost too tired to appreciate the tall, cylindrical delivery blocking part of his front porch. He dropped the grocery bags on the kitchen table, then dragged the newest package inside and shut the door.

He patted it and went to put away the food. While putting things away, he pulled out odds and ends and made a small meal, washing it down with a large pot of tea. Feeling much better, he brought his last cup of tea into the living room and sat on the floor next to the giant tube. With a slightly excited feeling, he pulled on the string holding it closed.

The package unrolled to show the brilliant colours and patterns of an oriental rug. He gasped in wonder. It was large enough for him to lie on and stretch his arms and legs out without any part of himself sticking over the edge. The rug was plush and soft, and felt almost sinfully velvety under his fingers. With a happy grin, he pulled the furniture around and settled the rug in front of the fireplace. He lay on his side, his tea at his elbow, and let his eyes trace the intricate pattern woven into his gift.

Suddenly he pulled in a breath. He saw small wolves, dancing around the edging of the carpet, and phoenixes stretched their fiery wings from the corners towards the centre of the rug. As he watched, the phoenix closest to him flexed it’s wings, then stretched them back out.

_It’s a wizarding carpet…_ He stroked a shape he couldn’t identify, a repeated shape of black oval cups or cauldrons. Twisting his head from side to side, he finally decided on cauldrons. He could identify the distinctive cupped shapes of the wolfsbane flowers behind the cauldrons. 

“Wow,” he breathed. “This is stunning.”

He lay there for hours, watching the fire burn and idly stroking the rug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, really, Remus, could you be more wilfully blind?


	10. December Ninth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is very oblivious. Severus is less so.

_December Ninth Thursday_

Remus woke up slowly. He rolled onto his back and stared in confusion at the fireplace. _Wha-?_

“Crap,” he said. “What time is it?" He staggered to his feet, glared at the carpet for a moment, then tore through the house, frantically getting ready for work. He pulled his clothes off, cast a few quick cleansing charms, yanked on a set of clean clothes and galloped out the door. Turning to lock the door behind himself, he staggered as his foot hit a smallish package that had been tilted against the door. With an irritated yelp, he snatched it up and ran for the nearest hidden spot he could Apparate from.

He didn’t remember the package until lunch time. He was digging in his pockets, trying to pull together enough coin to get something from the vending machine in the lobby of the Philosophy Department. He stuck his hand into the inside pocket of his jacket and smiled. _Right. I have a new gift._

“Hey,” called Patrick, from behind him. Remus turned, still smiling. “You’ve been out here all morning,” Patrick continued, “have you finished yet?”

“Finally,” Remus grimaced. “And it’s time for lunch, but I woke up late and appear to have forgot to bring money." He shook his head. “I’ll be eating a big dinner tonight, that’s for sure." 

Patrick looked at him oddly, then shrugged. “I stopped off at the curry place on the corner. I know you like the lamb vindaloo, so I I got some for you." He held out a plastic bag, redolent of spices and warmth. “Let’s go hide out in the librarian’s lounge. They’ll never find us there." 

Remus looked into his bright face and smiled. “That sounds wonderful. Maybe we can hide for the rest of the day." He turned to lead the way towards the library, and felt Patrick come up beside him. 

“Nah,” came his companion’s voice, oddly subdued, “Angus’ll know where we are.”

Almost an hour later, Remus picked up his jacket to swing it back over his shoulders, when he remembered the package again. With a quick laugh, he pulled it out.

“What’s that?" Patrick leaned over from where he’d been sitting. He’d fallen into a chair next to Remus while they were eating, and watched curiously as Remus grinned at his gift.

“Oh,” Remus started, trying to think of a way to explain the mysterious gifts, “I’ve been getting gifts recently. I thought my godson was sending them, but he’s not." He looked at Patrick and surprised a wistful expression crossing his face. “This one was outside my door this morning. I’d forgot about it until now." Eagerly, he pulled the paper open and tugged out a glass flask filled with a yellowish creamy liquid. The label was written with the same upright hand as the previous gift of bath soaps. This one read, _For Chapped Hands, due to the cold_.

“Well, someone likes you,” said Patrick. He’d shoved the emptied food containers aside and was leaning on an elbow watching Remus smile down at the gift. “Is it any good, do you think?”

Remus turned to him. “Let’s find out." He tugged the cork out, and poured a small dollop into his hand and the same amount into Patrick’s. The cream smelled, just slightly, of vervain and lanolin, and Remus could feel his skin softening as he rubbed it in.

“Oh, yes,” he murmured, unaware of how his voice had gentled, “it’s good." He looked up and saw that Patrick still hadn’t rubbed his in. “Go ahead – try it." Patrick jumped, then rubbed his hands together briskly. After a moment he slowed down.

“You’re right. This really is good." He eyed the jar. “Any idea who sent it to you?”

Remus shook his head. “No, but if they’re interested in sending me nice things, who am I to argue?”

Patrick grinned. “Listen. I think we should do the shopping tonight for the party. I can store the drinks, but what about the food? And have you thought more about what you want to make?”

Remus tucked the flask back into his pocket. “No, I hadn’t. Have you?" Together, the two men cleaned up their lunch and, still deep in discussion of their options, they wandered back to the office.

That evening, in the market, Patrick said, “You never told me you have a godson." Remus glanced up from their list, startled, and Patrick continued. “You never really talk about yourself or your family at all. Did they disown you when they found out you’re gay?”

Remus’ jaw dropped, and it was only because he’d trained himself carefully not to drop his wand in battle that he didn’t drop the list as well. “I, er,” he managed. Patrick looked both embarrassed and defiant, and Remus was reminded sharply of Harry at his youngest and most determined to mis-interpret things. He sighed and shook his head. 

“No,” he said, calmer now. “No, they didn’t care that I was gay. And I’m not, I’m bisexual, but that’s neither here nor there." He crossed his arms over his chest. “My question is—“

“Because you’re … I’m...” Patrick’s stance shifted. He looked away from Remus, then back, and this time the defiance in his eyes didn’t seem challenging to Remus. “I’d like to know more about you, you know. Like, why you seem so alone all the time, or who your godson is and why you’ve never mentioned him and…" 

Remus sighed. He didn’t want to talk about this with Patrick, but it seemed he wasn’t going to get out of it. “My godson lives in Wales, he’s married with almost three children, and he’s about your age, actually." 

Patrick flinched and spun to look at the racks of boxed cereals behind himself. His voice, when it came, was muffled. “What do you mean ‘almost three children’?”

“He’s got a toddler, and his wife is pregnant with twins. She’s due any day now,” Remus continued, warming to the topic. He didn’t ever get to talk about Harry, and he found he was enjoying it more than he’d expected. 

Patrick had taken down a box of Weetabix, and was reading the back panel. “He’s young to have children, isn’t he?" He looked over his shoulder at Remus.

“Ah, well, he and Ginny wanted to get started early. Too many chances they could—“

“Patrick!" A young woman swooped down the aisle, latching onto Patrick’s arm and beaming up at him. “We haven’t seen you in weeks, mate!" Patrick hastily shoved the box back onto the shelf and shot an agonised glance at Remus. 

“Julie. I was busy – work’s been really wild, you know?" 

She shook the arm she was holding. “Yeah, but Cris has been waiting for you. You promised, you know, to go to that movie—“

He glowered. “No, I never promised. And I’m busy right now, Julie. I’m shopping, in case the cart didn’t catch your eye,” he gestured with the arm she was still holding, and then froze. Julie turned, eyes travelling along the cart, and then up and down Remus. Recognition lit her face and she turned back to Patrick.

“Oh! This is the—“

“The co-worker of mine, the one I said I’d be planning the food and drinks with,” Patrick interrupted in a rush. “I’ve a question for you, about,” he started to drag her off down the aisle, “about bread puddings.”

Remus watched them move away, amused and baffled. _I’m so glad I’m not that young any more._ He turned back to their list, then pulled out a list he’d made of foodstuffs he needed for home. _While I’m here I might as well get my own shopping done._

“Unless you’ve heard of some bizarre disaster that will remove all traces of spanikopita from the planet, I cannot imagine what you’re doing with a cart full of phyllo and spinach." The dry voice was followed by a long fingered hand reaching into the cart and turning the bottle of wine Remus had chosen for himself.

“Severus!" Remus spun around and his list went flying. “What are you—where did you come from?”

Snape stood, his arms crossed and one brow raised. “Northumberland." He smirked, then ran a hand along the side of the cart. “You don’t need to be so surprised, you know. I do eat.”

Remus smiled. “I know, Severus. I’ve never subscribed to the vampire theory.”

“One Dark Creature in any rel…” he paused. “I think it would have been too much to expect that there would be two Dark Creatures in our class.”

“It would stretch credibility,” Remus said, his voice dry. To his surprise, Snape smiled at him. The smile transformed his face; the corners of his mouth lifted and his eyes sparkled, making his expression warm and open. Remus felt stunned; his breath caught and he could tell that his face had frozen. He was dismayed when the smile fell off of Snape’s face and he glanced away, into the cart.

“What are you making?" He sounded suddenly unsure and Remus shook himself.

“It is for spanikopita, actually. We’re on for drinks, at the Uni holiday party, but we thought we’d do something a little—“

“Remus! I’m so glad you didn’t wander…" Patrick trotted around the corner, skidding to a halt and looking curiously at Snape. “…off.”

“Patrick,” said Remus brightly, “this is Severus. He was at school with me." He turned to look at Snape and was startled at the look of fury on his face. “Severus? This is Patrick. He works with me in Building Services. At the Uni?" The angry look changed to one of comprehension and Snape smirked. Remus followed his gaze to see Patrick’s eyes narrow.

“Yes, Remus, and we need to finish the shopping. We haven’t discussed when we’re going to make the spani—spinach things." He nodded shortly at Snape, who was still smirking. “Nice to meet you, but we’re very busy." He grabbed the handle of the cart and swung it away. Remus looked back and forth between the two men, shrugged, then turned back to Snape.

“It was good to see you again. I enjoyed our discussion the other evening." He smiled, surprised again at the answering smile from Snape.

“I’m sure we can continue it sometime soon." Snape was still standing in the centre of the aisle when Remus glanced back at the corner

Late that evening, Remus stared, bemused, at the boxes of phyllo and packages of spinach in his fridge. He wasn’t sure when it had been decided that the supplies would come to his house. He was just glad that Patrick had settled down after his strange starts during the day.

He shook his head and went to bed. _I’m too old to try to figure this stuff out._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. Maybe we're getting somewhere!


	11. December Tenth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is definitely up with Severus.

_December Tenth Friday_

Remus spent his workday running back and forth from the English Department to the office, trying to find the right fuse for the one the department had blown by setting up three holiday trees in the front hall. After one trip, he collapsed on the seat near Gail and whimpered. “I think they’ve been using fuses from before Napoleon, really. It’s none of the ones we’ve in the boxes." She grinned at him and handed him a note.

“Chemistry?” he yelped. “Send Patrick. I’m up to my ears in fuses." He snatched up the box of new fuses to try and galloped out through the door, only to come to a short halt just outside it. Patrick was coming up the walk toward the office.

Patrick glanced up at him, but then his eyes fell. Remus wondered why he looked so upset. “Patrick, listen to me,” he said, catching him up. “Chemistry wants someone over to run another set of wires. I’m escaping to the English department, but I think Gail’s going to drop Chem in your lap.”

To his surprise, Patrick’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll just go and get that then,” he said, and moved past Remus. “Oh,” he paused. “I can’t see you over the weekend – my mum wants me for something – so I’m not going to be able to help with the spinach things." 

Remus stepped closer. “That’s nothing to worry about. I’ll get them all set up." He clapped Patrick on the shoulder. “We’ll make Building Services the hit of the party.”

That night, Remus sat at the kitchen table, eating dinner and reading one of the books from his mystery gifter.

He heard a low hoot at the window and pulled the sash up. The owl flew in, dropped a narrow box on top of cluttered hall table, and swept back outside. Remus picked up the package and smiled softly. It was from his mysterious benefactor. When he hadn’t found anything waiting when he got home from work, he’d tried to squelch his disappointment. It felt as if he’d been given a gift of more than just whatever was in the package; he felt as if he had a friend, even if he didn’t know who it was.

Sitting down and pushing aside his empty dishes, he eagerly pulled at the paper on the box. Inside was a selection of chocolates from the newest sweet shop in Diagon. 

“Oh, I wish I knew who you were,” he whispered. “You’re giving me so much.”

Just then there was a tremendous bang on his front door. He jumped a little and dropped the box back onto the table. He opened the door slowly, checking his wristwatch as he did. 

“Well, it’s about time you opened your door. You should be more hospitable." Snape leaned on the doorjamb, his arms crossed.

Remus blinked, “You only knocked once, Severus. What do you want?" He paused, pulled in a breath filled with the sharp taste of oncoming snow and gritted his teeth. _Is he only going to visit me annoyed, and late at night?_ “What is it this time? I’m certain you are on your way somewhere much more exciting than my house, so why not just save time and tell me here?”

Severus shoved his way past Remus, turned and dropped his cloak on the floor. “I will not stand outside like some errant salesman,” he said. He spun around and overbalanced slightly. Remus felt his surprise deepen.

“Severus, how much have you had to drink?" He shut the door and leaned back against it. Severus spun again, but the effect was somewhat lessened by the fact that he was still in Muggle clothes; the usual dramatic swirl of robes was missing, which also made his uneven gait more apparent. He staggered into the table, knocking the chocolate box down off the top of the stack. Snape stared at it for a moment, then snatched it up and began to wave it around wildly.

“See?” he shouted. “It’s things like this that make me so angry at you. I gave up so much, you know. I worked and I hid and did you know that Voldemort, I love that I can say his name now, the hateful arse-eater, anyway, where was I?”

Remus blinked at him and tried to squelch the grin he felt rising. He followed Snape into the living room and tried to push him towards the couch. “You were saying that you gave up so much. Severus, in all seriousness, have you been hexed?" He pulled his wand out of his pocket and tried to think of the broadest hex-detecting spell he knew.

“And about Black, he didn’t give up nearly as much as I did, the pecker, and he got all the sympathy." By now Snape had turned and was striding towards the fireplace, leaving the chocolate box on the table. “Did he have to go into the damned Death Eater camps and pretend to kiss that skinny snake-faced…" 

“ _Observo_ ,” whispered Remus. _Odd. He’s not hexed. I didn’t think Severus would ever allow himself to be drunk enough to stop paying attention to what he's saying._

Snape collapsed onto the couch, legs splaying out and arms stretched wide. “No, he didn't. He suffered – oh, how he made sure everyone knew he suffered – but it was short term.” He paused, expression shifting to thoughtful for a moment. “Admittedly, he wasn't really suited for the long-term thing, was he?” His head fell back against the back of the couch, hair feathering across one cheek. He stared at Remus, who found himself stricken silent. “You suffered as well, but you never said anything. You still don't say anything.”

“Would it have done any good?” Remus found himself asking. He'd been aware of how Sirius had tried to control everyone by reminding them of his imprisonment, but had closed his eyes to the damage, emotional and physical, he'd sustained from taking care of Sirius—and taking the brunt of Sirius' fits of anger. He'd noticed the way everyone else seemed to slide away, but figured that his own isolation was justified as recompense for the way he hadn't been able to restrain Sirius when they were in school.

Severus watched him somberly, then shifted backward a little on the couch. "Perhaps. You don't have to be silent now. You can tell me anything." He gestured vaguely. "Come and sit down. This couch is very comfortable."

Remus' eyebrows rose even higher. "I know, Severus. It's _my_ couch." He stepped closer, tucking his wand away. "Where were you tonight? Were you on a job?"

Severus rose to his feet more smoothly than Remus had thought he'd be able to. "Oh, come now, Remus," he purred, stepping closer. "You don't have to take care of _me_. I've always been able to take care of myself. Wouldn't it be pleasant to not have to take care of someone?"

Remus stepped backward. "Severus, I think you're too drunk to know what you're saying. Honestly, I'm not sure what you're saying, myself. I think you should use my Floo."

Severus spun around and stalked back to the kitchen, where he picked up the box of chocolates again. "Why haven't you had any of these yet?"

"They only just arrived," Remus said. "Would you like one?"

"Do you not keep anything for yourself?" Severus' expression was bleak.

Remus opened the box and held it out to Severus, who bent forward to look at the chocolates. "I'm sure whoever sent me those wouldn't mind if I shared them."

At Remus' statement, Severus snapped upright again; his expression had shifted to outrage. "You haven't—you don't know where these are coming from? What if they're cursed?"

Remus shrugged and set the open box on the table before choosing one for himself. "Werewolf. Not many curses can get past the lycanthropy." He bit into the rich milk chocolate shell and cherry filling poured into his mouth, making him groan slightly with pleasure. After a long moment spent savoring the taste, he swallowed and said, "No really, Severus. I insist. You must have one – they're magnificent."

Severus' eyes were locked onto Remus' lips and, a little self-consciously, Remus licked them. 

"I can't use the Floo," Severus said, not looking away from Remus' mouth.

"I'm sorry, what?"

Severus' gaze dropped to the chocolate box, and he ran a finger along its edge. "Mine is locked. I believe you're correct, though. I should not be here." He turned and staggered slightly. Remus was surprised at the urge he felt to catch Severus before he fell.

"Are you safe to Apparate?" he asked, following Severus to the lounge. "Why don't you let me Side-Along you to your house and you can get to sleep."

Severus swung his cloak over his shoulders. "I can give you directions to the village, but you don't need to get me all the way home. You'll want to put your new coat on, though. It's in the North."

Remus shrugged and took his coat off the hook. _Still secretive, after all this time. I wonder if he's worried that I'll drop in on him the way he keeps doing to me._

Severus slid an arm around Remus' waist. He leaned in close and whispered in Remus' ear. "Cartmel Priory." 

Remus sucked in a breath; Severus' body was warm against his, his breath soft against Remus' ear. He'd never really noticed that Severus was exactly his height. "I—I… should we do this here, or go outside first? Harry put wards up—"

Severus chuckled, still leaning into Remus. "Well, lead on." 

Outside, the cold air helped settle Remus' spinning head. He closed his eyes as Severus snaked an arm through his crooked elbow, and concentrated on apparating them without splinching. 

They landed in an ancient graveyard, grassy and well-kept. There were lights still on in the village centre, down the street; multicolored light warmed the grass at their feet from the stained glass windows in the priory walls. They stood for one moment—it felt to Remus as if the whole world was still around them—then Severus stepped away.

"I can get myself the rest of the way," he said. He seemed to not have noticed Remus' confusion, or felt any himself. He flashed a sardonic look at Remus, then strode away toward the bright lights in the village. 

Remus found himself drifting after him, watching to see which house he'd go into. Just as Remus got to the low stone wall between the cemetary and the street, he caught himself up. _He didn't want you to know where he lives, so stop spying on him. Just because you're lonely doesn't mean you should latch onto Severus Snape, of all people._

Remus stepped back under the trees and apparated home again, not sure if he'd get any sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've checked and there's no way I wrote this _after_ Half-Blood Prince came out, so this must have been started just before it - which explains why I stopped writing it in the first place. ETA: Of course, the next chapter makes it clear that I knew who the HBP is, so this must have been a direct reaction to the book. Wacky.
> 
> Also, [Cartmel Priory](http://cartmelpriory.org.uk/) is a real place.


	12. December Eleventh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More information is always good, right?

_December Eleventh, Saturday_

Remus woke up and stretched, feeling more awake than he’d been for ages. As he showered and dressed, he thought about how odd Severus’ behaviour had been the previous night. _I don’t think I’ve ever seen him drunk at all, let alone so drunk he admits how he feels about Sirius._

He grimaced at the pile of phyllo and spinach in his fridge, fished out the makings for breakfast, and set to making himself an omelette to eat. As he sat down, the pile of eggs stuffed with leftover ham and bacon steaming enticingly in front of him, an owl tapped at his window.

To his surprise, it was Harry and Ginny’s owl rather than the anonymous post-owl he’d been unconsciously expecting. He stroked her head and offered her some of the bacon ends, which she ate with relish in his sink. He took the letter she’d been carrying and sat back down at his meal.

_Dear Remus,_

_This will be written in fits and starts – Albert has a touch of ‘flu, so we’re all tired. Also, I don’t know all of the story, only the parts I’ve pieced together from the little Harry and Severus have told me._

_You know that Harry, during the war, got help from someone in the Death Eaters. He found clues all over; some of them came by owl, but most of them were hidden in places he’d look. It turned out that Severus was the one leaving the notes and clues._

Remus rubbed his face. He remembered finding one himself; he’d been away from the pack for a week and had gone on what Harry had called, oddly enough, a trip with the Half Blood Prince. Not only had they found Hufflepuff’s Cup, but there’d been a note on old parchment tucked inside. Harry hadn’t let Remus see the writing, but he’d glanced at Remus while he read it and his expression had been very shocked.

_During the last bits of fighting, Harry risked a lot to make sure Severus wasn’t killed by our side. He spent months searching for information to help Severus during his trial. He was bitterly disappointed in Professor Dumbledore – he’d expected him to leave something, anything, to help acquit Severus. Severus had done everything, given up everything, for the Headmaster, and Harry still can’t understand why he didn’t leave something to help him after he was dead._

Remus found himself agreeing with Harry. He remembered Severus’ appearance at his trial; he looked as if he were already dead. He couldn’t believe Albus would abandon him after Severus had given up so much. He hadn’t been able to focus on it, as he’d been swamped with setting up the Werewolf Program, but he had paid enough attention to know that Harry had ensured Severus was acquitted, not just pardoned. 

_After everything was over, Harry didn’t want to be an Auror, but figured that his skills in defence and warding could be used for better things. He started Big D Guardians and immediately asked Severus to work with him. I’m not sure about everything that made Severus change his mind; he flat refused for the first two years, but at the end of the second year after the war, he started working with Harry._

_Harry found Severus being harassed, I know that much. Harry came home that night, bruised and stinking drunk. He and Severus had a huge fight after Harry stepped in and defended him from his attackers. I think they ended up having a physical fight – Harry’s never told me and I’ve never had the courage to ask Severus directly._

_Harry did say something about it at the time. Something about not letting our past restrictions continue to control our future. I know you know how he grew up, and if he can work with his cousin, after everything that happened in that house, then his ability to work with Severus is barely even noticeable._

Remus paused and tried to think if he knew anything specific about Harry’s childhood. He’d never talked to Harry about it when he was the Defence teacher, and he didn’t think they’d discussed it since then. _What on earth could have happened when he was a kid? I know Lily’s sister wasn’t nice, but how bad could it have been? That house didn’t look terrible._ He rinsed his empty plate and sat back down with a third cup of tea. 

_Harry’s requests for you to join the company aren’t just him being respectful. He and Severus both think you’d be a valuable addition – if you wanted to do the work. Your skill and experience are wasted at the University. At the very least, it would allow Severus to take some time away from mentoring the new hires and get back to working on potion-based warding._

_I think Severus would enjoy having someone on the team who’s, well, his own age. He’s mentioned you several times and always has something nice to say. Surely you can get over whatever happened when you were at school with him. I know he was instrumental in getting you fired in my second year, and I know you had difficulties with him when you were younger, but Remus, it’s been a long time and he’d love to be friends with you. I’m sure of it._

_Oh, I have to go. Al’s just woken up and he’s crying. I hope this answered some of your questions. Don’t forget that we’re expecting you for Christmas dinner at the Burrow._

_Love, Ginny_

Remus set the letter down and stared blankly at his now-empty sink. He hadn’t heard the owl leave, and he wasn’t sure he’d tasted any of the breakfast he’d eaten. “I don’t know that I believe Severus wants to be friends with me.” A memory of Severus’ warm body pressed against his rose in Remus’ mind and he shook his head hard. “She got our school years all wrong, as well. The difficulty was all because of me.”

He washed his dishes and looked up the recipe for spanikopita he was planning on using. “Dammit,” he muttered. “We forgot feta.”

Out at the shop, he caught himself staring blankly at nothing several times. He managed to buy the feta cheese and some fresh dill, then, irritated at his own inability to leave anything alone, dropped them off at home and went back outside in the chilly wind.

“Cartmel Priory,” he muttered, thinking of the cemetary and the way the street had curved past it. The momentary crushing feeling was less frustrating than the cold wind when he landed behind a broad old tree.

“Now, where did he go?” Remus checked to make sure no Muggles could see him, then used a _Point Me_ spell to show him the right direction. Three minutes later, he was striding up a well-cleared cobble path toward a compact cottage almost too cute to be real. _Never tell me Severus lives in a fairy-tale cottage._

The door swung open as he got to the top step and Severus leaned on the door jamb, arms crossed and brows lifted. “I thought I said I didn’t need you to see me home.”

Remus stopped, absolutely speechless. He wasn’t even sure what he had been planning on saying, now that he was here. After a long moment, he said, "I thought you weren't going to go back to teaching."

Severus looked startled, then laughed. "How else are they going to learn how to defend our clients? It isn't as if there's anyone more qualified to teach defence than I am."

Remus snorted. "That's true." He looked down the narrow lane that led from the street to Severus' front door. "But you're awfully exposed, even here. Anyone could come down that walk."

Severus' face bloomed into a slow smile. "No, not anyone. Just those I want to see." He stepped back and gestured. "Why don't you come in out of the cold? Is there any reason for your visit, or are you just returning the favor?"

Remus moved past Severus and glanced around. He tried not to let his surprise show, but he knew he'd never really bee able to hide his feelings from Severus; this was, he was sure, why the other man had always been annoyed by him. 

"Yes, yes," Severus said, reaching for Remus' coat. "I know, it's so light and airy. Who'd have thought the old bat would want to live in anything except a cave." He hung Remus' coat on a hook, which curled carefully into the coat collar, then led the way further into the house. 

As he followed, Remus admired the creamy walls – covered with a delicately patterned wallpaper – and large windows. The parquet floor was mostly covered with rich persian rugs; these set off the comfortable-looking, heavy leather couch and chairs cuddling around several low wooden tables. 

The kitchen was large and well-laid-out, with long marble counters and several racks of pans hanging from the ceiling. Wordlessly, Severus pointed at a cozy nook with a rustic-looking wood table and four small chairs. The remains of his lunch were spread across the table.

"Have a seat," he said. "I'll make us some tea."

Remus sat down, slightly dazed. _This isn't at all what I was expecting._ He wasn't sure, really, what he _had_ expected. As he watched Severus move comfortably around his kitchen, Remus said, "I'm not actually sure why I'm here. I just… I was worried, I guess. You seemed so—well it was uncharacteristic of you to be so—"

"So drunk?" Severus set a teapot on the table and cleared away his dishes, setting them in the sink with a scrubbing spell. "We just landed a large contract and had been celebrating." He came back to the table with a plateful of biscuits and sat down facing Remus. 

"I think there's a few things I don't understand," Remus said, watching Severus check the tea to see if it was done steeping. "I was under the impression you were coming to my house because Harry asked you to."

Severus looked at him carefully. "Why would I do that? Why would Harry do that?"

Saying 'because he thinks I'm lonely' was too much like spilling his deepest fears, so Remus just shrugged. "He seemed concerned about me, the last time I saw him."

"He is a Gryffindor to the core, our Harry," Severus said, pouring two large cups of tea and sliding the sugar and cream toward Remus. "I'm very sorry to disappoint you, but he was not, in fact, so worried about you that he'd recruit me to be your nanny."

 _That doesn't actually help._ Remus sipped his tea. _Wait? 'OUR' Harry?_ "That's good to know," he said. After another long silence, he gathered up his courage and said, "There's something I've wanted to say to you since we left school. I'm very sor—"

"You are _not_ going to come into my house, drink my tea, and condescend to me," Severus snapped, slamming his own cup on the table. "You are—if you cannot get over what happened in the past, if you remain convinced that you have to live your life as if you're still the downtrodden, maligned cur that your so-called friends made you—" Severus was livid; his face had gone pale, but his cheeks were an angry red and his eyes flashed with bitter fire. "This tendency toward melancholic self-aggrandizing martyrdom doesn't suit you, however much it worked for Black."

Remus stared, open-mouthed. "I—I never would… Severus, I wanted to apologise for—"

"How imbecilic do you think I am?" Severus didn't pause for an answer, which was good, as Remus had none. "I know you wanted to apologise, and five years ago, that might have been what I wanted as well. But I've grown up, and I was hoping you had, as well."

"I… thought I had," Remus said, feeling a little dizzy. 

"You might have got older, but you still see the world as if you're the little werewolf in hiding. Everyone knows who and what you are, there's nothing for you to fear. You could be so—" Severus' lips closed and he looked stiff. "Do you not like the biscuits?"

"I'm sorry, what?" Remus looked at the piles of sweets on the plate. "I.. I'm not sure what we're talking about."

Severus leaned back and ran a hand over his face. "I think perhaps we should try starting over. Let's be friends, shall we? Good afternoon, Remus. It's nice to see you out and about. I have made some milk chocolate cherry shortbread biscuits, and I hear that these are flavors you like. Please, have one and tell me what you think."

Remus took one of the cookies and, uncomfortably aware of his own confusion and of Severus' impenetrable gaze, bit into it. "Oh, this is divine," he said. "Thank you very much." He finished the cookie and tried to hide how much he wanted another one. "Have you had any of them?"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Of course I have. I made up the recipe. Don't hold back – have as many as you want. I made them for—sharing. It's pleasant to see someone enjoy them." After Remus took another, Severus ate one, himself. Then he smiled and leaned forward. "So, tell me about the spanikopita."

Remus startled himself by laughing. "My department's supposed to just bring drinks, but Patrick decided we should bring something to eat as well. Sort of to show off, I guess, although I don't know what he wants to show of for. I figure he's got his eye on a girl in one of the other departments, but he hasn't said anything to me about it." At that, Severus smirked.

Remus chuckled. "It's nice to be older and past all of that confusion, isn't it." Severus seemed to choke on his next bite of cookie and Remus watched him, worriedly, until he took a deep drink from his teacup. "Anyway, we picked spanikopita, because they're pretty easy, but they always look impressive. He was going to come over this weekend so we could make them, but his family needed him, so I'm making them myself."

Severus smiled down at his fingers and Remus wished he could tell what the man was thinking. "Why don't I help?" Severus asked. "I'm good in the kitchen, and it'll certainly be easier with two people." He shot a glance up at Remus. "In fact, why don't you bring the supplies and we can make them here. Were you planning on making them in a big dish, like a lasagne, or as individual servings?"

"Oh, but I couldn't—" Remus deflated at Severus' flat look. "That would be nice. I haven't cooked with someone else in years."

"Cooking with friends can be one of life's joys," Severus said, standing up. "When's the event?"

 _Event? Is cooking together an event? Oh, he means the…_ "It's Monday night."

"Excellent. Then you can come over for breakfast tomorrow, with all of the supplies, and we can spend the day together." Severus smiled down at Remus. "I look forward to it. I have to go shopping myself now, but can you come back at around nine tomorrow?"

Almost before he knew it, Remus found himself back on Severus' front walk, coat on and a large bag of the chocolate cherry biscuits clutched in his hand. Bemused, he apparated home, and wandered the block from the apparation point to his front door.

On the porch was a large wooden box without a return address, but with _Remus Lupin_ handwritten on the outside. _Hey, I'd nearly forgotten. I wonder what this is._

Inside, he carefully opened the box and pulled away the mound of wooden excelsior to reveal a clear glass dome. Inside, sparkling and flashing, was a beautiful orrery of the solar system. A thick envelope attached to the wooden stand had a description of the orrery, and the spell which would set it moving. 

" _Circumverso,_ " Remus whispered, and watched in fascination as the little planets began to spin and the sun started to glow. He bent forward and saw a tiny moon swing past Jupiter, catching the light and sending it back. 

"Thank you, whoever you are." He wasn't sure which was the greater gift: these precious things or the chance of being friends with Severus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love [orreries](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orrery).


	13. December Twelfth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes all it takes to become friends is to just spend a little time together.

_December Twelfth Sunday_

Remus woke early and lay in bed wondering if he'd really talked to Severus the night before. He sat at his kitchen table, drinking tea when a large owl tapped at his window. 

"Hullo," he said, letting it in and watching as it swooped around the room. "Do you have a message for me?"

It came to rest on the back of one of the chairs and glared at him, then held out its leg. When he reached for the parchment tied there, it snapped at him; Remus laughed and offered the last of the bacon. That seemed to be the required payment, because the owl ignored him untying the red cord around the message. It hooted once, and flew back out the window before he sat down again.

_Remus,  
I have unlocked the Floo for you, so you can bring everything without having to carry it whilst apparating. The house name is Cartmel Close.  
Don't forget that we're to eat breakfast before we start cooking; it's never a good idea to cook on an empty stomach. I have asked my mother for her grandmother's spanikopita recipe, and have purchased supplies for us to compare the recipe you intend to use against hers.  
Your friend, Severus_

"Well," Remus said. "That answers that question. How unexpected." He stacked the ingredients he and Patrick had purchased, as well as a few other things, and stepped through the fire into Severus' lounge.

"Ah, there you are," Severus said. He was sat on the couch, a book at his side and a large teapot on the low table in front of him. "Do come in; you can put your things down in the kitchen. I thought we could eat in the conservatory." 

He followed Remus into the kitchen, then led the way to his conservatory, where he'd set up a table with a wide range of food, all under silver domed lids. Remus sat down in the chair Severus pulled out for him and wondered what in the world his life had become.

"This all looks lovely," he said, looking over the dishes on the table. _How long has Severus been cooking?_

Across from him, Severus swept his napkin onto his lap and smiled. "Please," he said, reaching for the teapot. "Help yourself. Oh, and—" He shot a sharp look at Remus. "Don't hold back. I know it's nearly the full moon and you need to eat to support the change."

Remus stared at him, then shook his head. "Severus, I can't—I'm sorry, this is too much. I don't understand. I thought you hated me. Hate me. Why are you doing this?"

Severus set down his fork and looked at Remus seriously. "You cannot just accept that I want to be friends with you now, despite everything that happened in our past?" Remus felt his expression change and Severus chuckled. "Alright. How about this?" He leaned his chin on a hand. "Spending the first two years after Voldemort fell gave me a lot of time to think about things. At first, I spent most of my thoughts on rehashing old wounds, old stories, but then I saw a young boy going through the change—I've been working with the Ministry on Wolfsbane since Harry got me acquitted." 

Remus sat back, not sure where Severus was going with this story. He'd known that Severus was involved with making the Ministry's Wolfsbane supply, but he'd thought he'd just helped them find adequate brewers. This sounded like he'd been more intimately involved.

Severus gestured to the asparagus omelette. "While I'm explaining, please do have something to eat." He waited until Remus had filled his plate, then nodded and continued. "The boy was only about ten—and I was horrified. You—werewolves go through this every month, and there had to be a way to ameliorate the physical effects. I started working on making the potion stronger, making it ease the pain of the actual transformation as well as allowing a greater connection to the human intelligence inside the wolf while the patient is transformed."

Remus swallowed his last bite and said, "So that was you? You've been—but I asked, and Wilson said you weren't involved."

Severus nodded, eating his own breakfast. "I asked not to be given any credit. It's something I should have been working on from the day we left school." He idly turned his teacup from side to side, then drained it. "I hadn't seen you change—"

Remus felt his heart clench. "I have never forgiven Sirius for that." 

Severus lifted a brow at him. "I imagine it would be hard to forgive being made to be a murder weapon."

"I—yes, exactly." Remus ran a hand over his face, his emotions confused. He'd never expected anyone to understand that, especially not Severus, who'd been cast in the role of murder victim. Certainly Sirius hadn't understood what had made Remus feel so betrayed. 

Severus refilled their cups and leaned back in his chair. "It was a short jump from sympathising with some random little boy to greater understanding for the position you'd been in at school. I can see that your secret made you rather vulnerable, in a way that I was unable to perceive when I was younger." He stood and turned to look through the large windows at the grey day outside. "Then I began working with Harry and he, naturally, discussed his family and friends. Your name came up and I realized that I wished I could re-do the past." 

Remus felt as if everything he'd believed about Severus had been wrong. "I'm sorry," he said, lifting a hand against Severus spinning to face him with a stormy expression. "No, wait. I'm sorry that I didn't reach out to you after the war ended. I thought about it, just when everything happened, but I thought you'd rather see me dead than talk to me again."

Severus' face contracted and he looked devastated. Then he shrugged and his usual insouciant expression filled his face. "Now that we've cleared that up, and we both know that we want to be friends—how insufferably Gryffindor of you to make us say it out loud." He quirked an eyebrow and Remus burst out laughing. 

_I never realized how funny his sarcasm could be._

They got started on the spanikopita, after Severus charmed the breakfast dishes clean and dry, and Remus found that Severus was an intelligent and amusing conversation partner. They started out a bit awkwardly, discussing just the differences in the recipes, but then Remus asked how Severus' great-grandmother had a family recipe for a Greek recipe, and by the time they were pulling the dishes out of the oven, Remus felt as if he and Severus had been friends forever. 

They had extra spanikopita for lunch, and then Severus asked Remus if he'd been paying attention to the changes that the Ministry had made to the Beast registry and they were off again. They ended up in the lounge, arguing cheerfully about Hermione's continued attempts to get house elves to free themselves and eating more of the food that Severus had cooked. 

The clock chimed ten o'clock and Remus glanced around, startled. "How is it so late already?" He stood. "I've had a lovely time, but I should get home. Thank you for helping and for all the amazing food. Next time, you should come to my house. I'm not sure I can make a souffle as light as yours, but my brisket is excellent."

Severus rose with him and smiled. "That sounds enticing. I haven't had good brisket in years. Are you free on—no, that's the full moon." He paused. "Do you transform at your house? Is there anything you need for your transformation?"

Remus shook his head. _I don't know if I'll be able to get used to a Severus who not only isn't afraid of the fact that I'm a werewolf, but is concerned for me._ "I'm fine, but thanks. The delivery of Wolfsbane should already be waiting for me, so I'm set for that, and I've a good sturdy comfortable room to change in. I'll probably wish I could take the day off work, though. It's harder when it's cold out, but school's nearly out and we're swamped."

Severus looked thoughtful, but nodded. "If you could send me an owl after you change back, I'd appreciate it." 

"Oh, I don't have a—" Remus started, then shrugged. He could just as easily drop a note through the Floo. "Certainly." He hitched up the containers of spanikopita and stood at the fireplace. "If you want, you could come over on Thursday. I'll be fine by then—you really have worked wonders with the Wolfsbane."

"I'll send Beatrice – my owl – to you on Thursday morning, to check up." Severus tapped some of his Floo powder into his palm. "Have a good night. I enjoyed spending the day with you." 

In his own lounge, cold from being empty all day, Remus shook his head. "Will wonders never cease. Imagine Severus Snape really wanting to be friends with me, of all people." He put the food away in the fridge and started to go down the corridor to change into pajamas, then stopped. _I wonder if there's been anything from my mystery person_. He opened his front door and saw a little box on the low wall, a tag on it saying it came from _Savegard and Defenden._

He huffed out a breath. "This is certainly from Harry." He set it on the table in the lounge and changed into another set of his new, warm pajamas, then made a cup of hot chocolate and settled in to open his latest present. It was a wide, slightly convex mirror set in an old brass stand. He looked in it, but it didn't reflect his face. Just in the distance, as if it were across the street and in a dense fog, he saw something move, then retreat into the grey mist.

"It's a foe glass," he yelped. "Well. It's good to know I don't have any enemies!" As usual, there wasn't a tag or note in the box with the gift, which he set on the mantelpiece and grinned at. "I hope I never have to use you," he said to it, then drained his cup and went to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Remus' life is headed in a new direction. Isn't that nice?


	14. December Thirteenth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus finally figures at least one thing out.

_December Thirteenth, Monday_

Getting to work with the trays of spanikopita was slightly more complicated than Remus had expected. He managed, though, and slid the trays into the cafeteria fridge with a happy sigh. Behind him, one of the cooks laughed at something another said; they turned to him when he closed the fridge door and the first said, "That's for the staff party tonight, right? I thought Building Services was just drinks?"

Remus shrugged. "Yeah, but we wanted to show off a bit. I think you'll like it. Anyway," he rubbed his nose. "It's bound to be better than whatever the guys in IT come up with. What was it last year? Skittles Jello Shots with added protein?" He shuddered and then joined in their laughter.

"Textured vegetable protein should never be mixed into anything jelled. Ugh." The second cook rolled her eyes. "It's a crime against nature."

"That it is," Remus said, and went out to start his work day.

Surprisingly, there wasn't much to do. Chemistry had finally settled down, and the Physics department wasn't asking for anything out of the ordinary. Angus was digging the English department out of a last minute locked-door emergency, and Gail said that Patrick had called to say he was going to be in late. Remus sat in the office, feet propped up on Angus' desk and head buried in one of the library's books on Pompeii. One of the Magical books had eyewitness accounts and he wanted to see how those connected to the Muggle versions.

A tapping sound from the door drew his attention. Patrick stood there, staring at him, his expression tense. Remus glanced at Gail, deeply focused on studying for her last final before the break, and slid to his feet. 

Outside, he asked, "Are you okay? How's your mum?"

"What?" Patrick looked confused, then shrugged. "She's fine, yeah. I'm sorry I couldn't help you make the spinach things. Was it hard?"

Remus grinned, thinking of the way Severus had looked with his mother's purple apron on and his hair pulled up into a tail, to keep it out of the cooking spinach. "Oh, it wasn't hard at all. In fact, we ended up making two different kinds—my friend Severus' great-grandmother was Greek, so we made half with her recipe and half with the recipe you and I chose. They're interestingly differ—"

"You made it with him?" Patrick sounded shocked and upset.

Remus nodded, feeling like something confusing was finally starting to clear up. "Yes. We're old friends, from when we were at school." He slid his hands into his pockets and smiled calmly. "He and I have spent a lot of time working together."

Patrick looked crushed, then stiffened his shoulders. "I'm not going to be able to make it to the party this year. My friend Cris and I have to work on something for—for his class on photojournalism in war settings." Patrick's face was stiff. "I'll let Gail know and then I'll—I'll see you next year. I guess." He turned and walked into the office, leaving Remus feeling enlightened and very sad. 

_Well, that explains a few thing. I hope Cris is a better choice for him than I am._ For one moment he let himself try to imagine who he would choose for himself, but when an image of Severus came to mind, dark eyes flashing with laughter, Remus shook his head. _There's no need to emulate Patrick and get hung up on someone who could never want you back._

The spanikopita were a hit at the party, and Remus went home with the praise of all the other departments ringing in his ears. He also had three silver key-chains, and a very impressive paper crown from the crackers the administration had handed round. _I wonder if Severus wants some key chains. It's not as if I can touch them._

When he got to his door, he saw the monthly package of Wolfsbane sitting on his porch next to a round container about a foot tall and easily a foot around. "What're you?" he asked it, as he brought them both inside. Before he opened his surprise, he set up the three servings of Wolfsbane. He drank the first serving of medication as quickly as he could, chasing it with a glass of water. 

"Ugh, that never gets better tasting. However," he smiled, "it's a much better formulation, so thank you Severus." He glanced at his waiting mystery package, then decided to change into pajamas and a dressing gown before opening it. 

While in his bedroom, he kept thinking about the way Severus had seemed to be honestly interested in hearing how he was doing. _He'd want to know how our cooking went over. I should Floo him._ Before he could change his mind, he tossed some Floo powder into the flames and stuck his head through, calling out "Cartmel Close".

Severus was sitting in one of the wingchairs in his lounge; he looked up quickly when Remus' head came through. "Is everything all right?" he asked, his expression worried. "The Wolfsbane arrived on time?"

Remus blinked at him, then smiled. "Yes, that's fine, but I was wondering if you'd like to come through for a cup of tea while I tell you about the party tonight. Something kind of awkward happened and you might be amused."

Severus looked very pleased. "As long as no one was poisoned…" He stood and set his book down. "Should I bring anything?"

"No, I don't think so." Remus pulled back into his own lounge and was just dusting the soot off his shoulders when Severus stepped through the flames, looking intrigued.

"So, if it wasn't poison, what could possibly have been awkward. Surely no one discovered a rampant and unknown spinach allergy?"

Remus led the way to the kitchen. "No, but it turns out that Patrick had been nursing a completely inappropriate crush on me." He chuckled and shook his head. "It's like Harry having a crush on—I don't know, Filius." 

"Hmmm," Severus said, sitting down at the table and checking the contents of the box of Wolfsbane. "I can see his point. Distinguished looking older man, clearly good with his hands… what's not to like?" 

Remus felt a jolt as he realized he wanted Severus to really think he was attractive. _Oh Merlin, don't do this, Remus. Don't. Just because the man was nice to you for more than two minutes in a row is no reason at all to develop a crush on him._ He tried to laugh at Severus' joke, then set the kettle to boiling. When he turned around, Severus was looking at him with a raised eyebrow. 

"You have looked in a mirror recently, right? I'm only surprised you haven't got a whole flock of little duckling following you around everywhere you go on campus." He smirked at Remus, who knew he looked completely amazed, then tapped the mystery package. "What's this?"

Remus felt his joy at his mystery friend return. "Oh," he said, smiling and turning the package to see if it had a return label. "You know I've been getting gifts from someone I don't know, right?"

Severus coughed. "Really? A secret admirer?"

"You can't have it both ways, Severus. Either I'm distinguished and desirable, or I'm my true self, old and grey. But yes, I've been getting the most delightful gifts all month. This came today, with the Wolfsbane." He took a knife from the knife-stand and cut around the top of the box, freeing the lid. 

"Oh," he said. "It's tea. He set the lid aside and took out several large bags of tea, reading the labels as he did. "Here's milk oolong – that sounds nice. Oh, and really nice gunpowder green tea." He opened that bag and smelled it. "Yeah, this is good, here, try it?" He held it out to Severus while still looking at the other teas in the box.

When Severus didn't take the bag, Remus looked up. Severus was staring at him with an expression that Remus couldn't read at all. He caught Remus' eyes, and then jolted forward, taking the bag from him. "Yes, that sounds good. Let's have this one." He turned to the teapot and spooned some of the tea into it. "I think the water's ready."

 _I don't think I'll ever figure him out._ "I've got some of the chocolates left, as well. Let's have those with the tea." 

"Excellent. We can finish our conversation about the ethics of using time-turners."

Remus followed Severus into the lounge, feeling warm and happy for the first time in what seemed to be years. _I think maybe we're finally friends._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look! Progress.


	15. December Fourteenth

_December Fourteenth Tuesday_

When Remus got to work the next morning, Gail was the only one in the office. She looked around, smiled at him and said, “Gary called in, he drank too much last night. Patrick’s already over at the English department, and Angus is working in Philosophy. So it’s just you and me!”

Remus laughed. “So how was the party for you?”

Gail blushed. “Not as interesting as it sounds like yours was.” Her expression was playful but inquisitive.

Remus collapsed in the chair. “Oh dear. Whatever the stories are, I’m pretty sure they’re not true.” _What did Patrick say?_

Chagrin filled Gail’s face. “Patrick looked really upset before the party. I asked him what was wrong and he said that he’d been confused about what you wanted.” She shrugged. “I was never sure that you were interested in him the way he was you, but I figured it wasn’t any of my business.”

Remus sighed. “It would have been helpful if you’d said something. I had no idea until yesterday that Patrick was interested in me that way at all. Imagine my surprise when not only does he feel the way, but thought I already knew.”

Gail stared at him. “You cannot tell me that you’re that oblivious.”

Remus couldn’t meet her eyes.

“Oh my God,” she said. “ _Really?_ That’s amazing. Horrifying, but amazing. It does explain why you were leading him on so much.”

“Does everyone know about this except me?” Remus asked.

Gail shrugged. “Patrick isn’t subtle. Angus thought—”

“I knew you talked about me behind my back.” Angus leaned in the doorway. “What am I supposed to have been thinking?”

“That Remus already had a boyfriend.”

Angus looked enlightened. “So the story going around that Patrick finally grew some balls is true?”

Remus groaned. “Do you remember being a kid?” he said to Angus. “It’s hard enough without you making fun of him.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Angus asked. He turned to Gail. “Philosophy is going to need to have the heat in the back classrooms worked on over the break. I’m just glad it ain’t my problem.” He sat down in the chair next to Remus. “So those spinach things… Where’d you get them?”

Remus started to say that he had made them with a friend, then realized this might be a way to deal with the rumors about him and Patrick once and for all. “I do have a boyfriend actually. The relationship is a little new, but he and I have known each other since we went to school together.”

Angus and Gail had many questions, but since Remus did know Severus relatively well, he was able to answer them without too many stumbles. Just before it got too much for Remus, the phone rang, and he was sent to Chemistry to deal with a broken heater. By the time he left, he was congratulated by at least three people in different departments about his relationship. _What the hell. How fast does news travel around here?_

Just before he went home, he realized that he needed to renew his books at the library because he wanted to read them over the break. To his surprise the librarian leaned forward over the desk and said, “It’s good to see you and Severus finally getting along. It’s something he’s wanted for a very long time.” Remus blinked, choked out something he hoped was appropriate and fled. On the steps outside the library, a dark-haired wizard who looked slightly familiar nodded to him and entered the library.

Remus puzzled over what the librarian had said the whole way home. When he got there his porch was empty of packages but he shrugged and went inside. The second night’s dose of wolfsbane was no better than the first but he did appreciate knowing that it worked. After staring in his cabinets for a few minutes he realized he wanted to go out to dinner. _I should probably tell Severus what I said._

He tossed some some Floo powder into the fireplace and stuck his head through. Severus wasn’t on the couch this time, so Remus called for him. Severus entered the lounge from the direction of his kitchen, sleeves rolled to his elbows and his eyebrows raised.

“Twice in two days,” he said. “If you’re not careful, I’ll begin to think you actually like me.”

Remus felt conflicted. “Would you like to go to dinner with me? There’s something I need to tell you.”

Severus’s expression, which had been open and warm, suddenly chilled. “Surely it’s something you can tell me here,” he said.

“It’s nothing bad, at least I don’t think it is. Just… look, it turns out Patrick was trying to flirt with me. You were right. I needed to tell them something, so I told them we were dating.” Remus ran a hand over his face. “Only now, because my coworkers are _gossiping old women_ , everyone on campus knows. Well. They think they know.”

Severus started to laugh. “Oh, is that all.” He rolled his sleeves down and started buttoning the cuffs. “Just give me a minute to finish what I was doing in the kitchen, and I am at your service.”

Remus wasn’t sure if he was supposed to wait in the Floo or come through, so he did neither and backed into his own living room. Something tapped on the door, and he said, “Severus? Why aren’t you coming through the Floo?”

He opened the door, and found a small house elf clinging to a large carton. It piped, “Master Remus Lupin?”

“Yes. Is that for me?” He reached for the carton but the elf danced backwards, its fingers tightening around its corners.

“If Master Lupin will please sign the paperwork?” A clipboard floated around the box to hover in front of Remus. There was a pen attached to the clipboard with a small chain. Remus signed on the line and let go of the clipboard. “Thank you,” said the house elf. “You can be taking the box now.”

“Another delivery?” Severus’ dark voice came from behind Remus.

“Thank you very much,” Remus said to the elf. Inside, he set the carton down on the kitchen table.

“I can’t believe you just open these without even checking them,” Severus said, his arms crossed as he leaned against the door jamb.

Remus shrugged. “Not many people remember me, so it’s unlikely anyone’s really trying to kill me.” He finished untaping the box, and set the lid aside. “Plus, so far everything’s been wonderful. I’ll leave the worrying to you Slytherins.”

The first thing he lifted out of the box was large, roundish and swathed in tissue paper. Remus peeled the paper aside to reveal what looked like an antique bone china teapot. It wasn’t floral, but was white, with blue fans spread open around the edge, each vane of the fans lined with gold leaf. Remus set it down and unpacked the rest of the box. When the full set was spread across his table, he ran a finger gently along the spout of the teapot.

“Oh, whoever you are,” Remus said, “this is too much. Really.” He looked up at Severus. “Would you like some tea?”

Severus’ smile was unexpectedly soft. “With you? I’d love some.”


	16. December Fifteenth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the change.

_December Fifteenth_

Remus groaned and rolled over under the covers. _It's too early. I don't want to._ After another five minutes huddled on the bed, he slithered out into the cold room. _Severus was right, I should put more warming charms up. There's no reason to let the house be so chilly._

At work, he ended up trapped in Medieval Languages, re-wiring a heater so old he thought it might have been installed before the first World War. He slid halfway out of the machine and groped for the wrench. A hand slapped it into his palm and he said, "Thanks", then twisted the last nut tight.

When he emerged, Patrick stood with his hands shoved deep in his pockets. "I wanted to say Merry Christmas. I'm leaving early today and I know you're off tomorrow and then it's the break."

Remus sighed. "Thank you, Patrick. Going home for break?"

Patrick nodded. He looked hugely uncomfortable and ran a hand down the back of his neck. "About the other day—"

"Ah. I'm sorry," Remus said, steeling himself against the look on Patrick's face. "You're literally young enough to be my son. No matter how attractive you might be, I'm just not interested."

"You think I'm attractive?"

Remus covered his eyes. "Of all the things…"

Patrick laughed. "Well, I'm trying to look on the positive side, here." He paused, then said, "So, that guy you saw in the food shop?"

"Oh right. You've met Severus. Yes, he and I are—" Remus couldn't quite make himself say the lie to Patrick. "We've known each other since we were eleven and recently our relationship has changed quite a lot." _And how!_

A few other people stopped him over the course of the day to wish him a merry Christmas, and he went home feeling happy and content. He drank the last dose of Wolfsbane and, shuddering, a large glass of water to wash out his mouth, then looked for something to make for supper. He wasn't very hungry before the change, but he knew if he didn't eat something, he'd have a harder recovery.

An owl tapped at his window and he shut the fridge to let it in. It swooped around the room, then landed on the back of one of his kitchen chairs and held out its leg.

_Dear Remus,_  
I know the change is tonight, but I was wondering if I could come over. I have some beef stew that might tempt your palate. It's not very heavy, but it is filling. Let Beatrice know if that would be acceptable and I can arrive quickly.  
Yours, Severus 

Remus shook his head. "Why are you being so nice, Severus?" He picked up a biro he'd brought home from work and wrote, " _Yes, thank you, that sounds lovely_ " on the bottom of Severus' note. Beatrice took it in her claws, hooted once at him, then launched herself out the window.

"I might as well make tea while I wait," Remus said, and set the kettle to boiling. Before it did, there was a knock at the door. "Oh, I wonder if that's another gift," Remus said, pulling the front door open.

Severus stood on his porch, holding a large hamper under one arm and with a soft parcel floating behind him. "Good evening," he sait, stepping past Remus into the house. "I found this and thought it must be yours." He gestured to the parcel.

Remus chuckled. "I've started tea—you seemed interested in the Red Robe that was in the gift, so I've put some of that in the pot. We can have it as soon as the kettle—" A loud whistle came from the kitchen and Remus shrugged. "And it's boiled, so we can have it now."

In the kitchen, Severus took over the counter space and set out several containers and a bottle. He tapped each container with his wand before hunting through Remus' cupboards. "Don't you have a toureen?"

Remus had set the parcel on the table and was tugging at the string holding it closed. "No, who still uses soup toureens? I pour it out of a can, as nature intended." He laughed at the horrified look on Severus' face. The knot in the string gave up, so he pulled it away from the parcel and tugged it open.

It was filled with four large terrycloth towels, all plush enough to feel as if they were made of velvet, and a large blanket that surely was made of velvet. He stroked it and felt it warm under his fingers. "Oh, these are _nice_ ," he said.

Severus glanced at them. "They look like they'll be helpful for your—for when you return to human form." He stroked the blanket as well. "That appears to have warming charms on it. I have read that many werewolves find the return change to be particularly painful."

Remus looked at him. "I do, yes. Something about the fact that I'm in my right mind after makes everything worse, I think."

Severus looked satisfied and stroked the blanket again, rubbing it between his fingers and thumb. "Excellent. Then this should help you tomorrow morning."

Remus nodded. "It will, once I can make myself get up and get it."

Severus looked away, toward the soup. "I think the soup is ready. I thought you might not have a toureen, so I brought loaves of bread to eat with the soup." He set out two large bread boules from which he'd cut out the centers, which he'd toasted and made into croutons for the soup. He ladled two large helpings into these bread bowls and poured a rich dark beer from the bottle he'd brought into tall glasses, which he set next to their teacups.

They settled at the table with the meal. Severus seemed distracted and Remus found himself worried that he was keeping Severus from something more important he wanted to do.

"I know you're uncomfortable with this," he started.

Severus' gaze snapped up to his. "With what? Your change? Not… precisely. I was trying to think of the best way to ask if you wanted me to stay with you tonight."

Remus set his spoon down and stared at Severus.

"I understand if you are unwilling to have me be here," Severus said quickly. "Our history does make it more awkward and I am—"

"Severus, why do you want to watch me go through the change?" 

Severus laced his fingers together and contemplated the remainder of his beer. "I remember hearing that you found the change less difficult when your… your friends stayed with you. I thought perhaps, since I'm here already, I could offer you the same service."

Remus found himself nearly speechless. "Severus, that's… That's a very kind offer, but they were already Animagi. It was safe for them."

"It's safe for me," Severus returned. "The Wolfsbane makes it entirely safe." He looked mulish and Remus caught a flash of what it might be like for Harry to work with him.

"I… I think I'm not entirely ready for you to be in the room with me—" Remus held up a hand to forestall the objections he could see building in Severus' mouth. "I've never had anyone watch it. But maybe after I've changed to the wolf, it would be okay for you to come into the room."

Severus looked pleased, and Remus felt his own confusion grow. However, he could feel the oncoming change, so he stood and said, "Dinner was delicious, thank you. I have to—" He abruptly left the room, unbuttoning his shirt on the way to the small room he'd set up with magical protections and soundproofing. He'd set it up so that it would be comfortable for the wolf, but it still felt bleak to have to go into a small room once a month, like a bizarre kind of prisoner.

As he sat, nude, on the soft rug in the middle of the room, the last conscious thought he had was that he'd stupidly fallen in love with Severus Snape.


	17. December Sixteenth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It isn't Christmas without a tree.

_December Sixteenth Thursday_

Remus woke slowly, warm and comfortable. He burrowed into his covers; when his hand brushed something velvety, he stilled. _Wait. Last night was the full moon. How did I get here?_ He sat up and looked: he was, in fact, in his room, with a set of warm pajamas on – not a set he'd ever seen before – as well as thick socks, also new. He was under his usual duvet and the velvet blanket with its warming charms was pulled over the top of that, so he'd been bundled up in warmth. 

As he started to slide toward the edge of the bed, he heard steps coming down his hallway. _Is Severus still here? Did he put me to bed?_ He lay back down and closed his eyes, feeling a little foolish about pretending to be asleep.

"Still not awake," Severus' voice said, very quietly. "I wonder if the change was harder than usual, or if he normally sleeps this much." His footsteps approached the bed and he gently stroked Remus' hair back from his face. "I'll have to find a way to make the painkillers stronger. That was miserable, and it wasn't even happening to me." He patted Remus' shoulder very gently, then stepped back to the door.

"Remus?" he called, as if he hadn't just been in the room touching Remus. "Are you awake yet?"

Remus opened his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Nearly noon." Severus slid further into the room. "You didn't change back until almost sunrise, and you weren't really able to stand without help." He shifted on his feet. "I hope it wasn't too forward of me to help you get to bed." Remus sat up; his hands stroked the velvet blanket without his input. Severus' eyes caught on the movement, then he jerked into motion. "I found those clothes in your bureau and you managed to get into them on your own."

_Now_ that's _a total lie. Why is he lying about this?_ "Thank you for taking such good care of me," Remus said. "I'm definitely feeling much better now, if you have other things you need to be doing."

Severus looked disappointed; he half-turned toward the hallway. "I made lunch." 

"Ah." Remus slid to the edge of the bed and stood up, twisting his back and stretching up as far as he could reach. It had been years since he'd felt this good after a change. He came back down onto his heels with a thump and realized that he couldn't think of a time when the whole transformation to-and-from the wolf hadn't left him feeling slightly under the weather. "What did you make?"

"Steak salads, with french onion soup to start and small winter fruit tarts." Severus looked a little stiff. "I've been meaning to try the recipe for the tarts and it seemed silly just for one person, so this seemed like a good opportunity…"

Remus smiled. "Let me just rinse my mouth out and I'm all yours." He saw something flare in Severus' expression, but then the other man turned to face the hallway. "I mean, I'd love to be your taste tester." _Even that sounds a bit off-colour. If I'm not careful, I'll make him remember his dislike for me. Why'd I have to fall in love yet again with someone unattainable?_

Severus had not only made food, but cleaned up the kitchen. Remus sat down at the table and admired the meal. "This all looks great – thank you very much. I don't... I haven't been cooking much at all, though I do enjoy eating home-cooked meals."

"That might explain your excessive fatigue. The curse should have altered your metabolism to sustain the changes; we have seen increased vitality and strength in younger werewolves, when they have adequate nutrition. If you have been unable, or unwilling, to eat enough to—" Severus broke off and stabbed his soup in the centre of the crouton. "Your friends would be distressed to find you are not taking care of yourself."

Remus, who'd already finished his own bowl of soup and was trying to figure out if he was supposed to cut up the slices of steak or just eat them whole-as-is, glanced up at him. "Oh, I haven't been in touch with anyone except Harry, really. I'm pretty sure most of my friends are dead."

For one second, Severus looked stricken. He opened his mouth, then seemed to think better of whatever he was going to say.

Remus tipped his head to the side. "But then it seems I've made a new friend in the past few days. I'm just sorry it's taken us this long to get here."

At this, Severus began to eat his soup and Remus re-addressed his salad. They ate in silence for several minutes, then Severus said, "You haven't decorated at all. Are you—do you get your tree on Christmas day itself?"

Remus swallowed his bite of food and sat back, feeling suddenly less content. "I haven't bought a tree in years. I don't have—when I was on my own, I rarely had the money, or the space, to decorate, and now, living alone… well, it just seems like a waste of time."

Severus looked down at his salad, poking a pomegranate aril idly with his fork. "Do you have to go in to work at all today? If not, perhaps we could go shopping together. I haven't bought my tree yet, and it's always more pleasant to do this sort of celebrating in company."

Two hours later, they stood in a Christmas tree lot in a garden centre just outside of town. Cheerful music played over the tannoy and other shoppers laughed and called to each other as they searched for their special tree. Remus chuckled as three kids chased each other through the forest of trees, followed by an anxious young man. He gave Severus and Remus a startled look then asked, "Did three little—"

Severus pointed in the direction the children went and shook his head as the man dove after them. "He'll never catch them if he doesn't hurry."

Remus started wandering through the aisles and shrugged. "I dunno. Arthur and Molly seemed to do okay. And Bill and Fleur are following in their footsteps." He stopped in front of a noble fir. "What about this one?"

Severus gave him a sharp look. "It's barely four feet tall. Where would you put it?"

"I was thinking that it should go in the corner of the lounge across from the door, so that I could see it as I came in from work."

"I thought the break was coming up. You don't work over the break, do you?" Severus paused at the ranks of nordmann pines and said, "These are better, don't you think?"

A young woman wearing an apron emblazoned with the name of the garden centre stopped to talk to them. "Are you two gentlemen doing all right? Is there anything I can help you with?"

Severus swung around. "Yes, thank you. We're looking for something like this, only at least six feet tall. I'd like it to be very full – we'll be keeping it up for the full twelfth night period, so it should be sturdy." He gestured at the trees nearest him. "These are all too short."

Remus gaped. "No, I don't—" He fell silent at Severus' stormy expression, then followed after them as the woman led Severus to the area with the taller trees. 

After she left he turned to Severus. "I don't understand what you're doing. I don't need a giant tree. I don't even have ornaments for it."

"I was thinking," Severus said, sorting through the trees as if there was one magical tree that would be perfect, "that since we're both alone this year, we could share the celebration. One tree, and I have ornaments—I have my mother's old blown glass balls, and a few old-fashioned fairy-lights, with real fairies in."

"You _never_. Severus—" Remus leaned close to Severus' ear. "Those were banned fifty years ago. How do you still have any?"

Severus smirked at him. "My mam kept all her heirlooms. No matter what your 'little friends' thought, while we were poor, my da never had a problem with my mam's magic." He pulled a tree out of the stack. "This one looks right. Let's get it." He shook it slightly and Remus thought he heard faint bells.

Remus stared at Severus, who looked back calmly. "You're really alone?"

Severus nodded. "Entirely." 

"All right then," Remus said, patting the tree on one branch. "Let's have a happy Christmas together." He paused and looked hard at Severus. "So, what do you want for Christmas and have you been a good boy?"

Severus burst out laughing. "Oh, wouldn't _you_ like to know?"

They got the tree back to Remus' house and set it up in the stand Severus had insisted on buying with it. He went back to his own house to collect his ornaments and lights; while he was gone, Remus cleaned up the kitchen from the earlier meal and then stood staring out the window over the sink, thinking hard.

Something was odd about all of this. The whole month had been slightly out of kilter, as if he'd stepped sideways into a version of the world in which he wasn't the one no one ever really wanted. Severus had insisted on being connected—being friends—with a predicably complicated result in Remus' emotional state. And whoever the mystery friend was, they were similarly persistent.

_There hasn't been anything today, though_. Just as Remus thought about it, there was a faint sound at the front door. 

"Severus," Remus called as he trotted to open it. "I'm beginning to think I should just give you a key—"

Severus wasn't there, but a package, wrapped in brown paper, was. The return address was German. Remus brought it inside and pulled the paper off carefully. Inside the box were beautiful glass ornaments. Stars, and globes, and little gingerbread houses all made of delicate blown glass gleamed across his table. At the very bottom was a small, exquisitely painted full moon.

"Someone must know you need ornaments," Severus said from the kitchen door. At Remus' startled glance, he said, "I came through the Floo – I've got the lights ready to put on the tree. Why don't you make us some hot chocolate while I get that part done?" He stepped into the room and touched the gingerbread house. "Lovely." His eyes were on Remus.

Remus felt his cheeks warm. _He's not complimenting you, you pillock_. "Yes, aren't they?" He watched Severus' face, trying to keep his expression calm. Then he stiffened. "Yes, hot chocolate. That sounds wonderful. It'll just take a minute and then I can come in and help."

Ten minutes later, he brought a tray with mugs of hot chocolate into the living room and stopped at the sight of Severus in front of the tree. Seeing it lit, with fairy lights in all colors, and seeing the lights sparkle on Severus' hair and eyes made him realize just how far he'd fallen in such a short time.

Severus turned to him. "Just what we needed. Bring those here, let's add some of the brandy I'm sure you've got hiding somewhere, and then get to finding the perfect arrangement of your new ornaments and my old."

An hour later, they sat near each other on the floor, staring up at the tree, the lights glimmering everywhere in the room.

"Together is better, don't you think?" Severus asked.

_I think I'd like to try together with you for a long time_. "Yes, Severus. Together is definitely better."


	18. December Seventeenth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting friends can be rough.

_December Seventeenth Friday_

Remus left for work the next morning feeling more hopeful than he’d felt in years. He and Severus had gone out for dinner the night before, going to the Ethiopian restaurant where he thought he’d seen Severus before. He hadn’t asked him about it, but it was clear that Severus was a regular, as the waitress greeted him by name. 

Their conversation ranged from the local politics in Cartmel Village to the chances of more snow in the south. Severus had said something about visiting Greece and that brought up the reading Remus had been doing on Pompeii; Severus was unexpectedly knowledgeable about the subject. 

Just as Remus stepped off his porch, Beatrice landed on his shoulder with a heavy thump. She nibbled his ear and stuck out one of her legs for him to remove the curled parchment. 

_Dear Remus  
I have a long-standing meeting with friends of mine this evening. It’s informal and usually relaxed, if you’d like to attend. We’ll be meeting at ‘The Blue Hare’ for drinks and dinner. If you get bored or are tired, we can leave early, of course.  
Your friend, Severus_

Remus looked at Beatrice, whose wide eyes and blank stare didn’t give him any more information. “He wants me to go meet his friends?” He shrugged and, after hunting in his pockets, found a stub of pencil he’d shoved there while he was under a desk in Modern Languages.

_Sure, but there’s no need for you to leave early if I do. They’re_ your _friends, of course you’ll want to spend time with them._

He spent the morning back under the desk in Modern Languages, then had to squirm his way behind the banks of servers in IT to get to the fan assembly. _Of course the fan broke in the middle of winter. It’s too bad we can’t just put the servers outside in the wind_. While he was buried there, he heard footsteps come into the room. He was about to call out to whoever had come in when he heard Severus’ name.

“… and I told Severus that I didn’t think he should invite him, but when has he ever listened to me?” The voice was light and nasal.

Another, lower, voice chimed in. “You have to give up on this.”

“I don’t. There’s no reason he should want that guy. I saw him – sure, he's got that 'professorial' thing going, but he's a ratty old history professor. We all know that Sev really goes for the younger guys. You saw that blond he was with at Arbequina. He was just right for Sev. I mean—” He laughed. “If he’s not going to do the reasonable thing and date me, he might as well date someone like that guy.”

“Look, Nate, he just isn’t into you, okay? If he wants to invite this old friend of his to the monthly pub crawl, then that’s his right. He’s the one who started it, it’s his thing. And to be honest, your whinging about this is getting old.” There was a loud clatter as something metal shifted on the table. “What is this doing off the server anyway?”

“Oh, Building Services sent someone over to deal with the broken fan,” Nate said. “Hurry up and get the information you need, it’s cold in here.”

The room was silent, except for some tapping. Remus whispered a silencing charm on himself and wiggled closer to the front of the server bank, trying to see who was in the room. A young man with dirty blond hair was sitting at the interface to the servers, typing steadily and the dark-haired man who Remus had seen in the library stood over him, his nose in a book. 

_I think I should tell Severus I’m not going. I don’t want to get involved in this._ Remus wiggled back to the broken fan and finished fixing it. By the time he was done, Nate and his friend were finishing up as well. 

“I just think—”

“No one cares what you think, Nate. Merlin, you’re being a fucking clod about this.” The chair was shoved backward and their steps moved toward the door. “Look, when he shows up tonight, just say hello and move on. It’s not like Severus’ll stay interested in him for long, you know that. How long was he involved with that French bloke?”

“Three months! The longest three months of my life.”

The door closed and Remus peered out carefully, making sure that there wasn’t anyone else left in the room before stepping out and picking up the metal housing cover.

“Well.” He bent and screwed in the mounting screws. “This is kind of ironic, isn’t it? Patrick’s interested in me, but I went and fell for the guy who’s not really going to be interested in me at all. Or if he is, not for long.” He left the room, making sure to tell the student at the front of the department office that he was done and the fan should be back online.

On the way back to the Building Services office, he stuck his hands in his pockets and found the gloves he’d gotten from the mystery person. _At least someone actually likes me_. He pulled the gloves on and sighed. _It’s not like Severus to only be interested in someone for a short time like that, though – when he was younger… but what do I know about what he likes in men, anyway? It’s not as if I’d ever have seen him in a relationship_. He slipped into the office, jotted down the repairs he’d made to the server fans, then curled up into the most comfortable chair in the office and waited for the day to be over.

There weren't any other calls, so he went home immediately at five. He apparated home, then stood, irresolute, on the corner. He didn't have an owl, so he couldn't tell Severus he wasn't coming, but the nearest owl office was likely to have already closed. With a groan, he apparated to the mews behind the owl office; there were still lights on, so he relaxed. 

They provided onion-skin paper and quills, so he wrote a quick note and handed it over to the clerk who tied it to the ankle of a large dark-brown owl.

_Severus,_  
I'm very sorry, but something has come up and I won't be able to join you and your friends. I hope you have a good time.  
Remus 

Back at home, Remus ignored the Christmas tree and made a large pot of tea. He thought about making himself a meal, but gave up after staring blankly into his fridge for a few minutes. _Tea will be enough._

He opened the book he'd been reading, but stopped when he realised he'd paged through half a chapter without taking in any of the information. 

"Fuck." He buried his head in his hands, then slumped forward, letting his hands slide over his head and into his hair. "Why did he say he wanted to be friends with me? Are those people really his other friends? How can he be friends with them?" A small voice in the back of his head whispered that maybe Remus had made up the part where Severus had wanted to be friends. _Or maybe it's just that you want more than was reasonable._

"I think it's time for bed." He stood to put the tea things away; when he picked up his kettle, the handle came off again. For one long moment he stood still, the handle in his hand, and a desperate mixture of fury and grief pouring through him. Then he gritted his teeth and said aloud, "You know things will look better in the morning. It's too close to the change and _you know_ that makes you unstable."

He set the handle aside and was moving through his lounge when he heard a sound at the front door. _It's probably whatever my mystery friend is giving me for the day._ He sighed. _I'll get it tomorrow._

In his bedroom, he switched the order of the duvet and the lovely warming blanket so he could snuggle into the soft velvet. He'd just crawled into bed when he heard a shout from his living room, and thundering footsteps. 

"Remus, are you here?" 

Remus pressed his fingers into his eyes. "Yes, Severus, what is it?"

Severus leaned over him and pressed a hand to Remus' forehead, then down to the back of his neck. Remus jolted backward and held up his own hand.

"Please, Severus, I'm fine. I don't know why you came here."

Severus stood straight and looked down at him. The only light in the room was a glimmer of the moon through a slit in the curtains. This was enough for Remus to see Severus' lip curl and he felt his earlier dismay grow. 

"So you're not interested in coming to meet my friends?" Severus' voice was chilly.

Oddly, Remus felt more comfortable with a Severus who was open about not liking him. "I think that I'm not someone other people want to be friends with. I know you have many friends – I saw you with them at Arquebina, earlier this month. But I'm not—I won't fit in with that group." He leaned back against the headboard. "You're missing your pub crawl. You should go."

Severus, who had, in fact, begun to walk toward the door, paused and looked back, a curious expression passing over his face. "What did you say?"

"I said that you should go. We're not friends, and we never were." Remus hated hearing the words coming out of his mouth. _Best to get the pain all over with at once._

"The past does not control the future," Severus said. He stepped closer to the bed again. "If you're in bed this early, you probably skipped dinner. I told you that you have to eat to maintain your metabolism. Go have one of the ready-mix soups I—I saw in your cupboard. They're fast and filling." He stepped backward to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Remus watched him go, feeling like he was missing something obvious. _There's something really weird going on_. However, now that he was up again, he was hungry after all, so he trundled into the kitchen, pulled down the first of the soups he'd gotten earlier in the month, and tapped it to rehydrate it. 

As he sat down, one of the things that had been bothering him snapped into focus. "Wait. How did he know that's a new coat?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It couldn't all be that easy, right?
> 
> (And Severus did totally slip up and say that Remus should wear his new coat... but really, how would he have known that?)


	19. December Eighteenth

_December Eighteenth Saturday_

Remus decided to have breakfast at a local magical café instead of at home. _Maybe a change of scenery will help me figure out what’s going on with Severus._ The first things he saw as he stepped onto his porch were two packages. One was flat and wrapped in brown paper, and the other was a large box with his name written in neat letters on the top. _Uhrmacher und Folgen_ was stamped on the side, with apparition coordinates under the words. 

“Huh. Well, I’m hungry,” Remus told the boxes, “so I’ll open you after I get home.” He _Leviosa_ ’d them through his door, then trotted off down the street to the café. It was hidden between a used book store and a spice shop, which Remus knew sold magical ingredients in the back room. 

As he let the café door close behind him, the owner came over, a broad smile on his face. “Professor Lupin, how nice to see you. I’m sure you don’t remember me, I was in Harry’s year—”

“Justin Finch-Fletchly, right?” Remus was surprised to see delight cross his old student’s face. 

“Yes, that’s me. I heard you lived in town, but thought Blaise must have got it wrong.” He led Remus to a table along the side wall, near the windows, but not in them. It was, however, directly in the sun, and Remus appreciated the gesture. 

“You’re doing well, then?” Remus sat down and took the menu Finch-Fletchly handed him, glancing it over.

“Very. Blaise is a wonder with the elves in the kitchen.” Finch-Fletchly pointed to the Specials page. “We got in some fresh locally grown wild boar, you should try the bacon.”

“I’ll do that, with the full breakfast,” Remus said, closing the menu. “And a large pot of tea, please.” He paused as Finch-Fletchly tapped at a hand-held device. “Are you using Muggle electronics?”

Finch-Fletchly looked startled. “Oh, of course. Luna figured it out, she’s working on Muggle cellphones now.” He smiled at Remus. “I’ll just get your tea.”

Remus stared after him, then ran a hand over his face. _How have I gotten so out of touch?_ The view out the window distracted him and he smiled as a young family walked past; the girl had a bag nearly as big as she was, bursting with books. 

The tea arrived and Finch-Fletchly turned to leave, but Remus caught him. “You said elves?”

“Oh yes, you might not know. Blaise freed all his family’s house elves, but they wanted to stay on, so we hired them to do the kitchen work. We have too many for that, really, so we’re thinking of starting a small business for them, so they can hire out to other restaurants. Or hotels. That sort of thing.” He shrugged. “They enjoy the work, as long as they get to choose who they work for.”

“I’m glad they’re enjoying it. Give them my thanks, would you?”

Finch-Fletchly nodded and went to help another table. 

Remus pulled a notepad and biro from his pocket and started making a list of the gifts he’d gotten since the first of the month. About halfway through making the list, his breakfast came and he pulled out a novel he’d given up on reading in June. He remembered it being dull and pointless, but as he ate, he found himself pulled back into the world of five gods. 

Eventually, he found that his plate was empty and he barely remembered eating anything. With a grin, he set the book aside and tried to pour another cup of tea only to discover that the pot was empty. A small hand reached over the top of the table, grasping at the empty plate. Remus could just see a pair of pointed ears sticking up. He bent to the side and found himself staring directly into the large eyes of a well-dressed house elf.

“Thank you very much,” Remus said. “It was all delicious.” The elf squeaked, took the plate, and vanished. Remus shook his head, then lifted the teapot, about to stand up and ask for more. It was full; the elf had filled it as he left. “Thanks again,” Remus said.

He read over his list, then started a second one with every interaction he could remember with Severus in the same time. “Severus definitely knew I’d just got a new coat. I guess Harry could have… no, I never told him or Ginny what I was getting, just that I’d been getting gifts.” He stared at the two lists, thinking of the day he’d spent with Harry and what they’d discussed.

_Is Severus the mystery person giving me all these things? Why on earth would he be doing that?_ He tapped his lip with the pen. _And who’s this French bloke he dated for three months?_ He folded the lists and stood up. _I’ll never figure it out here, and I want to know what he gave me yesterday._

Outside, he paused. “I haven’t got him anything for Christmas. Shit.” Instead of going home, he dove back into the throng of weekend shoppers and aimed directly for the larger of the apothecaries. There, he purchased a set of ten vials with magically sealing corks, a felt case for the vials, a bag of humbugs, and a large bottle of German glass glitter.

Two doors down, he paused outside the owl office. _I should get an owl of my own_. The front of the owl office was bright and open, but he could see the dim, cozy area for the owls to roost in. 

“I was wondering,” he said to the clerk, “if you’ve any owls who need adoption.” His parents, poor and thrifty, had always gotten their owls from the owl office; the offices often sold off the older ones. 

The clerk looked him up and down and said, “I’ll not have you sending her off on international trips all the time.”

Remus pulled back. “I don’t think I’ll have much mail, and I certainly don’t have international mail.”

“Right then.” The man beckoned Remus past the desk and brought him back into the aviary. A medium sized owl peered back at them; she looked as if she had put on all of her eyeliner in the dark. “Her name is Veda. She’s only about four, but she hates the long flights.” 

Remus set his package down then extended his hand slowly. “I’m a werewolf—”

“I know who you are, Mr Lupin,” the clerk said. “She’ll not mind the smell.”

He was right. Veda nipped Remus’ fingers, then clambered onto his shoulder without any complaint. After a slightly worrying moment as she inspected his ear rather closely, he bent to retrieve his parcel. “How much is she?”

“I’ll give her to you for five galleons. You’ll be wanting some owl treats as well, and the pet store across town does a good deal on pinkie mice.” At the words ‘pinkie mice’, Veda’s claws tightened. _I guess I’m keeping mice, now._

Outside, Remus wandered through the crowd, still idly puzzling over Severus’ odd behavior. One explanation had leapt to the front of his mind, but the chances that Severus had been nursing an unrequited romantic love for him seemed unlikely at best and delusional at worst. 

At home, Remus set up a basic stand for Veda, propped a window open and set a charm to keep the cold out even with it open. Then he called the pet store and arranged for two dozen pinkies to be held for him for pickup later that day. Finally, he looked at the boxes from his porch.

He opened the larger one first. Whatever it was had been packed in plentiful wooden excelsior, and he piled it all up on the side of his table, ready to throw away. Veda landed near it and reached out a claw, squeezing the wood in her talons, watching him unblinkingly. “Sure,” Remus said. “Just don’t build your nest on my clothes or bed, okay?” She hooted, gathered up as much of the strands as she could, and flew off into his house. 

Under all the packing was another domed glass. “It can’t be a second orrery?” It was a family clock. Harry was showing as ‘At Work’, Ginny was ‘At Home’ as was Remus himself, Albert was ‘Napping’, and a small hand was hiding behind Harry’s, the name on it unreadable. As Veda flew in for the last of the excelsior, a thin hand grew from the clock centre with her name on it. She was, apparently, ‘Nesting’.

“How much…” Remus sat down hard. Family clocks were neither cheap, nor easy to get. The charms on them were elaborate, complex, and required the agreement of everyone on the clock. If the owner of the clock didn’t think of a person as their family, that person wouldn’t have a clock hand, regardless of the biology of the matter.

Almost as an afterthought, he cut the string from the smaller package. Inside was a framed antique map of Pompeii, with the modern magical settlement picked out in gold ink. Remus stroked the carved frame, then peered closer. The carvings were little wolves, each curled up on the upturned bottoms of cauldrons, with sprays of geraniums mixed with aconite surrounding the whole. 

“I have to talk to Severus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we're getting somewhere!


	20. December Nineteenth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, they talk. A little.

_December Nineteenth Sunday_

Remus knocked on Severus’ door. He’d brought his lists and was determined to get to the bottom of the mystery. 

“For the last time, I’m not going to—” Severus threw open the door and stopped, mouth half open for whatever he wasn’t going to do. 

“Okay, then don’t.” Remus smiled. “You’re an adult and an extremely powerful wizard. No one can make you do anything you don’t want to.”

“Remus! I didn’t—are you okay?” Severus sent a look up and down Remus’ body. 

“I’m fine, thanks.” Remus shifted on his feet, not entirely sure this was a good idea. “I had a few things I wanted to talk to you about.”

Severus suddenly looked very uncomfortable. “Oh, have you? I was just…” Severus sighed and stepped to the side. “You might as well come inside. You can Floo home when you’re done.”

Remus followed Severus to his lounge. It looked as if Severus had slept there the night before; blankets were piled roughly on the couch, at least three large teacups sat on the floor, a bed-pillow peeked out from under the blankets, and Severus’ cloak lay draped over the side chair.

Severus came to a halt near the fireplace. He fiddled with his Floo container – a mug emblazoned with the Hogwarts shield – then spun around and crossed his arms. “Well. Get it over with.”

“Who’s Nate?” Remus hadn’t meant to ask that question, but in the face of Severus’ bad mood, it had just popped out.

“Nate—is _that_ why you didn’t come last night?” Severus threw his arms into the air and stormed in a small circle. “That cretin. What did he say? How do you know him? How much did he tell you?”

Remus took a step backward. “I’ve never actually met him.”

Severus stopped and faced him, eyes narrow. “ _How much?_ ”

“Really. He hasn’t ever said anything to me.” Remus felt as if he’d come in on a play in the last act. “I just—I was working and I heard someone talking about you and… and maybe me.”

“What did he say?” Remus hadn’t heard Severus sound this flat since the war.

“Does it matter? He’s not actually what I’m here to talk about.”

Severus collapsed onto the un-blanketed side of the couch. “Oh go on, then, and get this over with. I’ll deal with him later.”

Remus dithered for a moment, then said, “Have you been sending me all those gifts?”

Severus stared at him, his expression incredulous. “Are you—you’re joking. Have you only just now figured it out?”

Remus crossed his arms. “Severus, you hate me. Why on earth would I think that you’re sending me warm clothes, good food, and beautiful rugs?” He let his arms fall, thinking of the cost of the gifts, all together. “You must have spent a fortune, I don’t—”

“Don’t you dare offer to repay me.” Severus leaned forward, still staring at Remus. “You’re not angry at me?”

“Why would I be angry? Everything you’ve sent is perfect.” 

At that, Severus’ expression opened and he looked unexpectedly soft with delight. “You liked them?”

“I did. I do.” Remus sat on the edge of the side chair. “How did you—Harry told you everything we talked about, didn’t he? Is he in on this?”

Severus looked sheepish. “A little? I mean, he did tell me how bad your clothes and stuff were. He didn’t know until the fourth that I was doing this.” He looked around the room and started to fold the blankets. "He laughed himself silly."

Remus laced his fingers together. "I'm afraid I still don't understand. I can see that you don't hate me—"

Severus snorted. "Good to see you noticed."

"—but I'm still not sure how one gets from no-longer-enemies to spending the kind of money that it takes to get a Family Clock." Remus persisted.

Severus stood up. "Have you had anything to eat? Knowing you, you came here first thing and didn't eat anything. I'll get coffee started. Would you like eggy bread with sausage?"

"Wait, Severus, we need to—" But Severus was already into the kitchen and banging pots.

After breakfast, over which Severus adamantly refused to talk about anything personal, they ended back in Severus' lounge, with a fresh pot of tea. Severus sat in the side chair and stretched his legs all the way out.

"I met Nathaniel five years ago," Severus said. "The war had only been over for two years and I wasn't doing very well. Harry kept pestering me about his stupid company and all I wanted was to give up on everything. I'd been staying—you don't need to hear that part. Nate's the second son of Thorfinn Rowle, homeschooled, of course, we wouldn't want him to have to mix with any of the disgusting lowlifes that Dumbledore allowed into Hogwarts." He gestured airily.

"Yes," Remus said drily. "We wouldn't want to contaminate him."

"In the end, he was entirely contaminated. I found him in a Muggle pub, drunk on something disreputable and breaking the Magical Secrets Act for money." He looked pensive. "I don’t think I was far behind him, actually. I'd given up on ever getting the only thing I still wanted—" Here he looked a little stiff, but after a sip of tea, he continued. "I got him out of there, cleaned him up, and agreed to work with Harry. He's started a group—well, he and his maniacal friend Ms Granger did—to aid the children of Death Eaters in reintegrating into mainstream Wizarding society. I have been helping him."

Remus poured them both more tea. "I had no idea." He felt a little ashamed that he'd been so focused on himself; he hadn't once thought about anyone else's needs. "I didn't know that he'd set that up, or that you were—"

"I wasn't." Severus sat up straighter. "For some unknown reason, Nate became attached to me, and I have had to maintain a careful separation between my personal life and my work with the ReIntegration Organization."

"Have you looked in a mirror recently?" Remus asked, thinking of how he'd felt when Severus had asked him the same sort of question. "Tall, dark, viciously intelligent—what's not to like?"

Severus shot him a look, then stood up. "Since you have correctly determined that I've been giving you the gifts, would you like to come with me to pick out your own electric kettle? I saw that your old one has finally broken beyond repair."

Remus licked his lips. "I would enjoy that. Perhaps I can find something entertaining for you, as well."


	21. December Twentieth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, they spend a day together as (more than) friends.

_December Twentieth Monday_

“I didn’t know if you’d want to go out to eat, or if we should make something,” Severus said from Remus’ fireplace. He’d fire-called to say good morning, but hadn’t come through to Remus’ house. “I know you don’t have work until after the New Year. What do you normally do over the Christmas holiday break?”

Remus crouched down. “Honestly, Severus, the past few years I’ve done nothing. I’ve gone to the Weasley’s for Christmas dinner itself, but I haven’t felt like—” He fell backwards onto his butt and rolled his eyes at Severus’ barely covered snort. “Let’s just say this is the best holiday I’ve had in more than a decade, and leave it at that.”

“We’ve poked around near you, why don’t you come through here and we can wander through Cartmel? If we get bored, we can apparate up to Edinburgh and look at the lights on Princes Street.”

“I’ll just get changed and grab my things. I’ll be there in, maybe, twenty minutes?”

Severus nodded, then backed out of the flames. 

Remus took his time with the shower and picked his clothes carefully. He knew it was ridiculous – Severus had admitted that he was interested in Remus – but there wasn’t any reason to let himself be dreary-looking. When he was clean and shiny, and dressed in the nicest casual clothes he had, he put on his new warm gear and stepped outside to apparate to Cartmel. 

To his surprise, there was a small package waiting for him on the porch. “Severus, really, you don’t have to keep going,” he muttered. It was a pin, only about the size of Remus’ thumbnail; a gold cauldron with the word _philotimo_ carved around the rim. It rested on a bed of aconite flowers, picked out in minescule flecks of blue gemstone.

With a sigh, Remus pinned it to the collar of his coat and stepped out to meet his maybe-more-than-friend.

“You got it,” Severus said, when he caught sight of the pin. “I wasn’t sure it would be done on time.” He patted it and then said, “If you ever find yourself in need of help, just whisper _adiuto_ to the pin and I’ll hear it anywhere.” At Remus’ raised brows, Severus shrugged. “I work for a security firm. I see a lot of potentially disastrous situations. I’ve _lived through_ many dangerous situations, and I know you have as well. It never hurts to have someone to call on.”

“What would you have done if I’d never figured it out?” Remus asked as he hung up his coat and scarf and followed Severus through to the kitchen. 

“I’d have told you, eventually. Or Harry would have. The boy isn’t really good at secrets.”

“In his defence,” Remus said, “keeping secrets from him when he was younger was a large impetus for many of his worst adventures. He’d have been much better kept fully informed.”

Severus nodded. “That was not my choice. Albus, may he rot in peace, was the one in control of that. I never thought it was wise to keep the boy so deeply in the dark.” He checked something in the oven. “I never did as well when I didn’t know what the real situation was, myself.”

Breakfast appeared to be a baked concoction, made of bread chunks soaked in seasoned eggs and mixed with leafy greens and large chunks of local sausage. With, of course, large cups of coffee. When he’d eaten nearly half of the dish himself, Remus caught a glimpse of Severus’ expression; he looked deeply satisfied.

“Oh, I’ve been eating—”

“Finally enough to maintain your physical needs,” Severus finished, tone sharp. “As I’ve been saying, you need to eat more.”

Remus adjusted his utensils on his now-empty plate. “You have said, yes.”

“What shall we do today?” Severus poured the last of the coffee into their cups and sent the dirty dishes to the sink with a quick spell. “Cartmel is quite attractive, especially in winter.”

“The Lakes District is always pretty,” Remus said.

“Have you come here often?” Severus leaned his chin on a hand. “Did you come here with—with your friends?”

“I was never really part of the group, you know,” Remus said. “I mean, we were definitely friends, but it was made clear—in many small ways—that my condition was always the most important thing about me.” He drained his coffee cup. “I think I’ve been alone for most of my life.” _I can’t believe I’ve just said that out loud, and to Severus Snape. A month ago, I’d have thought he’d flay me alive if I showed any vulnerability._

Severus just looked thoughtful. “That’s awful.” He finished his own coffee and stood up. “Did you manage to date much, outside of school? I didn’t keep up with you—with anyone, really—during the time I was trapped at Hogwarts.” 

“Date? As a werewolf? How would I explain that – no witch or wizard would have me – and there’s no way I’d expose a Muggle to my curse.” Remus wished he didn’t sound so bitter.

Severus nodded. “Come on. There’s only about four hours of daylight, so we’ll need to get hopping if you want to see any of the town in the day.” As they put their outer things on, he said, “You’d be surprised at how many people would date a werewolf.” He paused for a second. “I hope that none of them would date you, because I’m hoping you’re dating me.” Before Remus could answer, Severus dove out his door and down the path, calling, “Hurry up, or we’ll be late.”

Remus felt like the whole planet had shifted slightly. Was the light a shade brighter? It couldn’t be possible that he’d really heard what he thought he had. “Late for what?” he answered, following Severus.

It turned out that Severus had found a local Muggle tour of the town, and they’d joined it, both amused at the descriptions of the old buildings and oddities, knowing that many of the misnumbered houses were really an indication that there were hidden Magical residences. When the tour was over, having dropped them off at the requisite gift shop selling local tat and post cards, Severus turned to Remus.

“I was wondering if you’d like to go to dinner with two of my friends. I’ve mentioned you to them and they are eager to meet you.” His face was turned slightly away, but Remus could see that he looked anxious.

“As long as one of them isn’t Nate.” 

Severus snorted. “No, these are both men I’ve met through my work at Big D. They’re in Britain for the holiday and asked if I wanted to meet them in Edinburgh for dinner.”

Remus chuckled. “So, your invitation to Princes Street was a ruse!”

“A trap, maybe. But well-baited. They’ve chosen an exceptional restaurant and since you’re the guest, you’ll not be paying.”

He hadn’t been kidding. The restaurant was down three steps from the street, and dim, but each table had a localised _lumos_ , so the tables themselves were clearly lit. The walls were dark blue and the wait staff all better dressed that Remus was. 

Severus’ friends were both cheerful men; one was French and Remus had a quick memory of Nate’s voice complaining about the ‘French bloke’, and the other was Slovenian. They were both well-read and willing to laugh at Severus’ clear tension when introducing Remus. 

“I was beginning to think,” the Slovenian, Lukas Kramar, said, “that you were a figment of Severus’ imagination.” 

Before Remus could respond, Severus snapped, “If you aren’t careful, I’ll tell the story of what happened in Turin last year.”

The Frenchman, Gustave Renou, burst into a deep laugh. “Ah, he has you there, my friend. Best leave the fighting to the ones who are always armed, no?”

At that, he winked at Remus, who recoiled upon seeing that his eyes were flat yellow, the same as Remus’ were when he allowed his werewolf nature get too close to the surface. 

"I—you're a—"

Renou looked astonished. "But of course. You did not know? Severus' team is only werewolves."

Remus looked at Severus, but he was staring fixedly at his fork.

The meal was delicious – it was based on traditional Scottish foods, but somehow, they were all fancier and more flavorful than Remus had ever had before. As they sat over their dessert, Kramar tapped his fingers on the table. "I've been talking to Matthews about the school and I think I'm going to tell him I'm interested in the Charms position. Remus, has he spoken to you about the Defence position?"

Remus glanced between him and Severus. "I have no idea what you're talking about. What school?"

"But, Severus has told us, has he not, that you work at the University already?" Renou looked confused.

"Yes, I do."

"Then you'll know all about it, surely. Mme McGonagall has helped to arrange for those students who wish greater education to come here to Oxford starting next year." Renou smiled at Remus. "Given what Severus has said, I assumed you were helping to set it up."

"Ah, no," Remus said. "However, I'd love to hear more about it."

That evening, as he and Severus stood on Remus' porch, Severus said, "They really couldn't do better than you as a Defence teacher." 

"You don't want the position?"

Severus laughed. "Teach again? Never." He stepped closer and slid a hand onto Remus' hip. "But I know you miss it."

Remus swayed with the feeling of warmth spreading through his body at Severus' touch. "I… what?"

Severus licked his lips and moved his body against Remus'. Slowly, he leaned forward and, after a heartstoppingly long moment, pressed his lips to Remus'. 

Remus melted against him, wrapping his arms around Severus and opening his mouth to Severus' warm assault. They stood enwined for an unknowable time, then Severus stepped away. "I—" He kissed Remus again, then moved to the other side of the porch. "I think you should go to bed. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Remus watched as he apparated away and fell backward against the door. "Well. That was unexpected."


	22. December Twenty First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He has to make Severus' present!

_December Twenty First Tuesday_

Remus spent the morning wrapping all of the gifts for his friends. Then he sat down with the glass glitter, several bowls, his wand, and an old glass bottle. 

He tapped the bottle with his wand, muttering something under his breath. The bottle began to stretch and swell until it was the size of a balloon; he moved the wand around the glass to ensure the shape was right. When it was finished, he set the now thin-walled globe aside.

He poured the glitter into one of the metal bowls and, closing his eyes, leaned over the bowl. He though about the things he'd done with Severus, the time he'd spent recently with him, the hopes he had for their relationship and their future, and then carefully pictured the time he'd spent decorating his tree with Severus. 

He concentrated on how he'd felt, what they'd done, the laughter they'd shared, then he tapped his temple with his wand. _Resemino_ , he whispered, and pulled a white strand from his head. It curled around his ear, then the wand, then he shoved his wand-tip into the glitter. 

It flared up, sparkling and shining, making flashes of light show around the room. He took two vials of strange viscous liquid and poured them into the bowl, holding one bottle in each hand and making sure the two liquids didn't touch until they were already in the glitter. 

_Misceo_ , he said. The glitter seemed almost to melt into the liquids, then returned to sparkling gently in the light. 

Remus put his hands down on the table and breathed deeply several times. _Almost done. Just the decanting and sealing, now_. He carefully lifted the bowl and poured the shimmering liquid into the glass globe he'd made from the bottle. When every bit of liquid was in the bottle, he tapped it with his wand again, gradually making it fit around the liquid, and when it there wasn't any room for air anywhere, he sealed the opening closed.

 _Ostendo,_ he said. 

There was a sharp flash of light and the globe showed an image of him and Severus walking around the tree, carrying lights and ornaments. After a moment of them decorating, they sat on the ground and watched it; their tiny faces reflected the multicolored lights of the tree. The whole scene was surrounded by a faint shimmer of glitter. 

"Well. I'm glad that worked." Remus ran a hand down his face. "Harder than I thought it would be." He held up the globe. "It's pretty. Huh. Now all it needs is a stand."

He went to the kitchen and started his new kettle, a lovely red electric thing. There was more than enough water for a large pot of tea; while that was boiling, he made two soft-boiled eggs and some toast. After eating, he found a rock in his back garden and brought it in to transform it into a stand for the globe.

"I hope he likes it," he said. "Now where are the old boxes?" A short rummage through his hall closet brought him a box just the right size for the globe and stand. After that was wrapped in bright paper, he bent backwards, stretching his back out. 

"I wonder what we're doing today." He licked his lips, feeling a rush of arousal at the memory of the kisses from the night before, then he pressed his lips together. "Maybe we can do more of that."

He wrote a quick note to Severus, then called Veda and sent her out. While she was out, he made another snack. Doubling memories was tricky and tiring work; he hadn't expected it to be quite so difficult. 

Veda found him lying on his couch, reading the novel with the five gods. It had just got to a difficult part and he wanted to know how things would turn out. She dropped Severus' reply on Remus' head, then flew to the kitchen and screeched to let him know that he was dilatory in providing the required treats.

With a laugh, he followed her into the kitchen and opened the container for her.

_Dear Remus,  
I am nearly finished talking to Nate. I think that I might have gotten through his thick skull that he is not behaving well. We'll have to see. I will be finished here in under an hour. Shall I meet you at your house and take you out to lunch then?  
Your Severus_

Remus smiled.

_Dear Severus,  
Good luck with that. I am sure that you're more fascinating than you might realise. I, myself, am entirely besotted and would love to go to lunch with you.  
Just come through the Floo. I did something that was more tiring than I expected, so I'll be napping on the couch waiting for you.  
Yours, Remus_

Severus came through the Floo some time later bearing a bag filled with Health Replenishing potions and a delighted smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter, but a nice one, I hope.


	23. December Twenty Second

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's back!

_December Twenty Second Wednesday_

Remus sat reading over breakfast, the next morning. He'd reached the last two chapters of his book and was excited to find out how things turned out. Just then, his Floo chimed. _I thought I turned that off for Severus._

"Hey, Remus! Aren't you up yet?" Harry sounded obnoxiously cheerful and Remus groaned. "Hey, you're an owl. Hi, owl. What's your name?" There was an odd sort of scraping sound, and then Harry said, "Ohh, you're very soft. Do you like that? You like being scritched under your chin, don't you?"

Remus stood in the door to the lounge and chuckled. "You're the owl whisperer. Her name is Veda. I just got her a few days ago." 

Veda was preening on Harry's outstretched elbow, her beak running through his hair. Harry looked amused and resigned. "Hi, Remus. Nice owl. I didn't think you were in the market, or I'd have taken you to Eeylops."

"I went to the owl office. She doesn't like to do longer trips, so they sold her to me for a discount." Remus held his arm out and Veda flew to him, landing on his shoulder instead. She hooted gently at him, then scooted as close to his head as she could, huddling down into her feathers and blinking slowly. "I think she likes me."

Harry laughed. "Yes, yes, I think so, too." He came and hugged Remus' other side, carefully. "You look much better than when I last saw you. Is it just the break from work? Have you been eating better?" 

"Are you saying I'm fat?" Remus snorted at Harry's sudden change in expression. "There's a lot different, but…" He remembered that Harry probably knew all about it. "But you don't need me to tell you what's been going on."

Harry's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"You told Severus all about—"

"He did it? Oh Merlin, this is _great_ news. The plonker's been whinging about this for years. And you're up for it? That's…" Harry stopped cheering and looked at Remus seriously. "You don't have to go along with this just because he's offering, you know. You have choices."

Remus finished convincing Veda back onto her perch next to the fireplace. "Want some tea? Or coffee?"

"Breakfast, if you've got any," Harry breathed. "I'm starving. I was out late finishing up the Bogald job, that's just over in Bath, you'll remember him, he's the one with the propensity for keeping gnomes? Anyway, I'd just got home from France and then I had to rush out early this morning to fix the chaos Bogald's gnomes created and I thought I'd check in on you." He sat down at the table and poured the dregs of the tea into a cup. "And now you're telling me that Severus has been doing it for me all month."

Remus froze for a second, then rubbed his eyes. "That can not have been how you meant to say that." He cracked two eggs into a pan and stirred them with some salt and chives. "How about eggs?"

"Really," Harry said, smiling, "anything. Only, you've got to tell me everything. Start from the when it all began and then go on until you get to today."

Remus snorted. "Well, on a blustery day early in March in the year of our lord nineteen and sixty, my mother was taken to hospital with—"

"Just start with this month, you're such a jerk." Harry beamed at the plate of eggs and toast Remus dropped in front of him and started eating.

"I was getting these amazing gifts," Remus said. "No return information, no note in the packages, just… random, exceptional gifts every day." He started the kettle and scooped coffee grounds into a filter. "I thought it was you at first, but I asked Ginny and she said you weren't doing it. She seemed to think that I'd want to talk to Severus, though."

He shook his head at Harry's snort. "Yes, I rather thought the same thing. Why would I want to talk to Severus, and more to the point, why on earth would he want to talk to _me_?"

"Well," Harry said after swallowing a huge bite, "it's something to do with the massive crush he's had on you since school, I think."

"Since—that can't be right." Remus tried to think if he and Severus had discussed their history in detail and had to admit they hadn't. "He never said."

Harry looked serious. "I think he thought it was a lost cause."

Remus nodded. "I can see that." He poured their coffee into mugs and set them down on the table. "Anyway, I kept running into him—which is very suspect now that I know he lives up in the Lakes District—and eventually we started talking. No, wait. We didn't start talking until he showed up here completely plastered."

Harry stared at him. "Severus, drunk? Not possible."

"No, really. It was very funny. I think that was the first time I'd heard him be honest about how he felt about Voldemort."

"No, really," Harry repeated. "It's not possible. One of the things we do is get Anti-Alc spells cast on us, so no one at Big D can get drunk to the point of loss of control." He finished his coffee and poured himself a second cup. "So, whatever was happening, he wasn't drunk."

Remus sat back. "That's… huh." He pushed his cup forward and nodded his thanks as Harry filled it. "I wonder what was going on."

Harry just raised his eyebrows and Remus snorted. "Oh, give over. He didn't say or do anything untoward." Remus remembered, then, the way Severus had stepped close to him and wrapped his arm around his waist. "Well, nothing major, anyway."

At that, Harry burst out laughing. "So, you'll be coming to our dinner on Friday, right? I know we're all going to Molly's for the day itself, but Ginny and I are having a little do on the Eve, for the people at Big D and some of our other friends."

Remus said, "I haven't talked to Severus about it. I haven't—we haven't talked about our plans for Christmas at all." He stood and started to clear the table. "I did manage to make him a gift, though."

There was a sound from the lounge and then quick steps down the hall. "Remus," Severus called. "I was wondering if you wanted to go get—" Severus pulled to a halt in the doorway. "Oh. You've had breakfast. Hello, Harry. I see you've stolen my breakfast."

Harry snorted. "As if you couldn't make a three-course meal out of two cans of beans and a pack of crackers." He stood up. "I'm expecting both of you on the Eve, at our house. More to the point, I'll tell Ginny to expect you and you know what she'll do if you don't come."

Severus crossed his arms. "I do not know what Remus' plans are and I would never think to—"

"Oh bloody hell, you great bat," Harry said. "He'll do whatever you want, just like you. Get on with it, man." He clapped Severus on the shoulder, sent a huge grin at Remus and strode off down the hall. They heard him say, "Bye, Veda. Have a nice nap." then there was the sound of the jar Remus kept his Floo powder in, and Harry said, "Godric's Hollow" and, presumeably, disappeared into the flames.

"Well." Remus turned to Severus, who still looked annoyed. "I can make breakfast again. I had eggs and toast and coffee."

Severus sighed. "Coffee sounds good. While we have it, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh, that sounds ominous."

"Nothing bad. I was thinking of what Gustave and Lukas were talking about." He sat down and pulled a notebook from his bag. "I know you like your job, but you loved teaching and I think you should really consider what they're offering." He slid the notebook over to Remus, who laid a hand on it.

"They haven't offered anything yet, but I would prefer to teach than fix over-loaded electrical circuits." He opened the notebook and chuckled. It was a teacher notebook; he'd used these exact notebooks the year he taught at Hogwarts to track subjects and students. 

Severus came and sat next to Remus, and slid his arms around Remus' shoulders, hugging him tightly. "Let's go out and go down to London. I think there's an exhibit at the Met I want to see."

That evening, they sat in Remus' lounge, close together on the sofa. Remus leaned close and pressed kisses up Severus' neck and then, gently, nipped his earlobe. To his delight, Severus' breath caught and he twisted under Remus' body. His hand slipped from Remus back up over his shoulder and his fingers buried themselves in Remus' hair.

"Keep doing that," he said, his voice gravelly, "and I won't be responsible for my actions." 

Remus laughed. "That sounds exciting. Let's do that."


	24. December Twenty Third

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nearly to Christmas! Remus makes a big decision.

_December Twenty Third Thursday_

Remus woke to the sound of his alarm and groaned. _Four thirty in the morning is too early to be up._ He huddled under the covers for one last moment, then surged out of bed and into his thinnest robe. Then he shivered his way out the back door and into the garden, under the light of the last quarter moon. After a few deep breaths, he pulled his robe off and lifted a large natural sponge from a bowl of warmed water; it didn't take long to wipe his whole body down.

He opened the box with the empty glass vials and uncorked five of them. He gritted his teeth and, using a stone knife, carefully sliced open the vein at his right wrist. When blood started to flow freely, he quickly filled each of the five vials half-way; he pressed a Muggle sticking plaster to the cut and corked the vials.

He opened the last five vials, _evanesco_ ing the insides clean. Then he set one against the inside of his left elbow and whispered _sangui_. Dark blood poured from his arm into the vial. When it was half full, he whispered _caesum_ , waited for the blood to stop, and set a new vial on his arm. Filling these five went quickly and he whispered a short healing spell to close the cut on his right arm.

Back inside the house, he tucked all ten vials away and went back to bed, curling into the fading warmth he'd left behind.

He woke a second time to Beatrice landing heavily on his bed. She thrust her leg out at him without looking; she was eyeing Vera carefully. 

_Remus,_  
It's a lovely day out. Shall we meet somewhere for brunch?  
Severus 

Remus groped around on his nightstand for a pen or quill, then scrawled a response on the back of Severus' note. Beatrice took it with a sharp snap of her beak and heaved herself off the bed and out the window.

An hour later, Remus opened the door to Finch-Fletchley's café and laughed at the look of mixed terror and curiosity on his old student's face. 

"You didn't tell me that I'd have to endure the obsequy of old idiots," Severus growled as Remus slid into the seat across from him, but his expression was amused. 

"Oh, give over," Remus said, looking at the menu left for him. "You know you enjoy seeing your old students turn out well." He flipped the menu over and scanned the back. "I had the full breakfast last time I was here. I think this time I'll have eggs benedict. What're you getting?"

They ate and, as they were leaving, Remus overheard two of the other diners discussing the new school. Outside, it was clear that Severus had also heard.

"You know, I could get Matthews to meet with you. You really are exactly what he's looking for in a Defence professor."

Remus shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. "If you don't think it's too late, then yes. I would prefer to teach – at least I'll be inside most of the time in the winter."

Severus nodded sharply. "I know he hasn't found anyone for the position, if that's what you were asking." 

They stopped into the owl office and while Severus was writing his note, the post officer sidled up to Remus. "How's Vera? She doing well?"

Remus smiled. "She's happy as a clam. I set up a fish tank with pinkie mice in it and she watches them closely. Like a moving picture show."

The man nodded. "My cats watch animal shows on the telly with me. I always wonder what they're thinking."

Remus chuckled. "I haven't tried that. She might like some of the bird shows Attenborough does."

They'd found a tiny used book store around a corner Remus had never seen and were each deep into stacks of books they wanted when a little owl came fluttering through the door. Severus caught it and opened the note it had been carrying.

"He wants to meet for dinner," he said, looking over at Remus. There's an Italian place, on the other side of the campus, is it good?"

Remus thought for a moment. "Yes, if it's the one I'm thinking of. Their wine's not the best, but the portions of pasta are huge."

"Sounds good." Severus jotted something on the paper, handed it back to the owlet, and turned back to the giant leather-covered book in his hand.

That evening, they slid through a noisy, happy crowd to a booth in the back of the restaurant. Matthews was a small man, with curly iron-grey hair, a prodigious grip, and an infectious laugh. He spent the whole of dinner regaling them with ever-increasingly funny stories about the pitfalls of trying to start a school. By the end, Remus' sides ached and he knew he wanted to work for this man.

"So," Matthews said, "I hear you're my new Defence professor. Having a werewolf in the position will be useful, as you'll be difficult to harm, when the students get things wrong." He chuckled at Severus' sour expression. "It will also be helpful to have someone as well-known as yourself; students will be less inclined to assume that their professor is idiotic when they can rightfully claim to be a war hero and werewolf killer."

Remus was the one with the sour expression, after that, and Matthews shook his head. "Never let your own accomplishments be ignored. You worked and suffered and you are entitled to the rewards that work brings."

"I—thank you," Remus said. "I am very interested in the position. What did you have in mind for topic coverage?"

They fell into a discussion of what Remus should cover, which boiled down to 'anything he bloody well wanted'. Matthew's final word on it was, "Well, there isn't really any precedent, so you can design the course entirely as you wish. Students will be going on from here to Auror work and other places, so they should have a basic toolkit of self defence as well as broader applications, but truly, the course is yours to create."

Back at Remus' house, they sat in the lounge and watched the fire burn. Finally, Remus turned to Severus. "Are you staying here tonight?"

Severus smiled, slow and warm and Remus felt his skin prickle with anticipation. "I've got something for your bed. If I'm staying, then I can appreciate it as well." He pulled a small bundle from his pocket and enlarged it: it was a stack of sheets sets and duvet covers. Before Remus could say anything, Severus tugged a sheet and pillowcases and duvet cover from the middle of the stack.

"I want these tonight," he said. 

Remus looked at them and then raised his brows. "It's hard to go wrong with tartan flannel."


	25. December Twenty Fourth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a party at Godric Hollow.

_December Twenty Fourth Friday_

Remus woke and stretched an arm out; the mound of pillows next to him was cool, but not stone cold. "Huh, where'd he go?"

After finding his nice thick robe, he stumbled down the hhall and discovered Severus already fully dressed in the kitchen, breakfasts waiting on plates on the counter, a pot of coffee brewing. "Oh, you're up," Severus said, smiling at him. "Don't forget, we are due at the Potters today."

Remus sank down into a seat. "Yes, but that's not until later. We don't have to get there now, do we?"

"Have you anything to bring?"

Remus blinked. "I… I've got presents, yes?"

"For the meal? Do you not bring food?" Severus looked baffled. "Haven't you been to any of their parties?"

"I go to dinner at their house every month." 

"So that's a 'no', then." Severus shoved a list across the table to Remus. "We'll need to buy these. I was planning on bringing stuffed mushrooms, but if we're attending together, we should probably bring something coordinated."

"There'll just be the four—five of us. And Albert barely eats." Remus looked from the page-long list of ingredients to Severus' face.

"You haven't been to one of their parties." Severus said. "They're pot-luck. The Weasley boys always bring a pepper-cheese dip that's hot enough to render a person blind. Be careful. Draco likes to experiment with pasta dishes. I'm not sure why."

Remus smiled. "Are the dishes supposed to be horrifying, or are they supposed to be edible?" 

Severus' eyes sparked with humor. "Around Halloween, I believe the goal is both at once."

"Well. I know exactly what to bring." Remus tugged the list out of Severus' hands, added a few items, and stood up. "Let's go shopping."

They managed to find a relatively quiet time to shop, stopped off for lunch at a sandwich shop, then set up in Remus' kitchen to cook. Remus just needed the kettle and some bowls, but Severus seemed to be using every single pan Remus owned.

Three hours later, they cast preservative spells over their dishes, and went to the bedroom to change for the party. When they both were washed and dressed in clean clothes, they gathered their contributions and stepped outside to apparate to Godric's Hollow.

When they arrived, the party was already in full swing. Light spilled out from the windows and warmed the air. Laughter called to them from the cracked open door. Remus smiled in pleasure and trotted up the stairs.

Remus stepped through the door and nearly into Theo Nott, who was carrying three glasses of beer and laughing over his shoulder at something Bill Weasley had said. He turned forward again and stepped backward. "Professor Lupin. Hullo. I didn't expect to see you."

"Remus is here?" Harry came pounding down the corridor; he caught Remus up in a giant hug, then set him down quickly. "What on earth did you bring?"

Remus laughed. "Jell-O chicken and vegetable salad." He presented the jiggling, faintly green bundt-cake shape with a flourish. "Delicious!"

Harry and Theo recoiled in matching horror, but Remus let himself be filled by Severus' warm laughter behind him. 

Five hours later, Remus and Severus stepped out of Remus' fireplace, happy, tired, and stuffed to the gills. They left on the table a small pile of gifts they'd accumulated from the crackers at the party, then kissed their way down to the bedroom. 

Remus fell back on the bed and pulled Severus on top of himself. They squirmed and rolled, Remus trying to touch every part of Severus he could get to. After a long time, he shoved Severus aside and sat up.

"Did you change my pillows? They weren't like this before."

Severus chuckled. "Merry Christmas." He pressed forward and kissed down Remus' neck, and Remus stopped caring about anything else.


	26. December Twenty Fifth

_December Twenty Fifth Saturday_

"Time to get up." 

Remus rubbed his eyes and saw Severus sitting on the side of the bed holding a cup of coffee. When he saw Remus was awake, he bent forward to kiss Remus. "Merry Christmas," he said. "Now get up so we can have breakfast."

Remus yawned over his cup. "Merry Christmas. You already made breakfast?"

Severus preened. "I thought we should have something special for our first Christmas together." He stood and handed Remus his dressing gown. "Come on – the souffle omelet won't last."

After breakfast, they sat in the lounge. Remus gathered the two gifts he'd made for Severus and set them on the couch between them. Severus glanced at them, then took a large, flat package off of the table near the door. 

"Oh," Remus said. "But you've already given me so much."

Severus wrapped his hands tightly around his mug. "I want you to have this. It's important." He looked stiff, so Remus took the package, holding it gently. 

"Well, at least open one of mine first," Remus said. 

Severus raised a brow, but willingly picked up the square box. He shook it gently, then poked the ribbon bow Remus had stuck to the top. "It won't bite, right?" At Remus' snort, he smiled and tore the paper off. The silver glow from the memory globe reflected on his face, which had relaxed into soft wonder. "Oh, Remus," he breathed. "This is—" The memory re-set in the globe; the glitter swirled and Severus sat in front of the tree just as the lights came on, sparkling and flashing with color, giving memory-Severus' face a rainbow. "This is beautiful. How did you get it made so quickly?"

Remus picked at the corners of his own box. "I made it." Severus shot him a startled look. "It's not—it's tiring, but the spell-work is well within…" He shrugged. "I'm glad you like it. Although," he pointed at the second present. "Don't shake that one, okay?"

Severus' brows few up, and he looked intrigued. "Noted." He set the memory globe aside and lifted his second present. "But it's your turn."

Remus carefully peeled the paper open and gasped. "How did you find this? I thought there weren't any." It was a large photograph with a middle-aged couple smiling at the camera. They looked slightly shabby, but very happy. After a long moment, they shifted and turned to peer up through the glass at Remus. The man's eyes widened and the woman's turned shiny with tears.

Severus looked pensive, and a little tense. "You like it?"

"Severus. I don't have any pictures of my family. This is… how on earth did you find this?" He stroked the edge of the frame, very very delicately. " _Where_ did you find it?"

Severus leaned over to look at Remus' parents, still gazing up at their son. "I spent a lot of time going through old records." He watched Remus and his family, then smiled. "It was worth it."

Remus wiped his cheeks and pulled his eyes away from the photograph. "I can't thank you enough. There just…" He pressed his lips together. "This is tremendous."

Severus shrugged, looking a little uncomfortable. "I am very glad that you're happy." He tried to cross his arms, but then realized he was still holding Remus' last gift. "Oh, I should open this."

Remus chuckled, a little wetly. "Yes, you should." 

Severus pulled the paper off and lifted the lid of the wooden box, then recoiled. "Are these… yours?"

Remus suddenly felt worried. _Did I just offend him?_ "Um. Yes. The left half have no magic used at all, in the collection or the storage, and the right have magic used for both." He licked his lips nervously. "I know werewolf blood is hard to get—even though you work with many—and I thought it might be helpful for you."

Severus stared up at him. "This is perfect. I can use this to tailor the Wolfsbane to you, so your transformations will be painless. Also, as you spent many years untreated—sorry—your blood reacts to experimentation differently." Severus closed the box carefully. "This is invaluable. But if the blood—when did you draw it?"

"The three-quarter moon, freshly washed, nude, under the moon?"

"Perfect. But I have to get these to my lab. Wait here." Severus stood and strode quickly through the Floo. Almost before Remus had a chance to do anything, he'd returned. "We have time," he said, "before we have to be at the Weasley's. I think it's time I showed you how much you mean to me." 

Severus carefully drew the photograph from Remus' hands, pulled him to his feet and proceeded to kiss him so thoroughly that Remus was dizzy. 

Remus held onto Severus' shoulders and laughed. "I think you've shown me that very well. How about I take you into my lair and prove how much I love you."

Severus smiled, broad and slow. "I think that's a lovely Christmas plan."


End file.
